5 months. That’s the time I have between now and leaving for Asia for a year of my life. Through all of the preparation and fundraising, it still sometimes seems so unreal. I used to feel intimidated by the race, that those who were called to go were the kind of people that you could just see as doing something as crazy as this. When I first felt called to go on the race, I was scared how people would react. I was scared that they wouldn’t see me as a missionary and that I wouldn’t find support or encouragement. I began to wonder whether or not I should be going on the race. I thought that maybe I had heard God wrong and maybe I should reconsider this whole thing.
But as the time to leave gets closer, I can say that I’ve never been more confident that this is what the Lord has for me.
I had the opportunity to go back to Ashland and visit The Well, which is a weekly religious life service on campus. I had been blessed to experience this community throughout college and I knew that this would be what I missed after graduation. I talked about it a little bit in a previous blog, but this is where I really grew in my faith. I was excited to go back, but I can honestly say after visiting that I’m over it. Don’t get me wrong, I love it and I miss it. But it’s not the longing type of missing where I want to go back to it, it’s the kind of missing that I just appreciate what it was for me at the time. I came to the realization on my drive home that I’ve moved on, and it wasn’t that hard to do so. I also came to realize that I’m ready to go.
When I think about what my life would look like if I didn’t do the race, it just seems so wrong. Continuing to work or going back to school or even moving out of Ohio feels absolutely ridiculous compared to moving to the other side of the world. That might seem like crazy thing to say, but it is so true and I wouldn’t want it any other way. That’s how I know that this is for me. The need for other people’s approval and support has gone out the window. I have confidence walking through this because I know He has laid this path for me.
It’s so refreshing to not have to worry about what other people think of me doing the race. I’m going because He told me to, and that’s enough. He’s the only one I want to impress anyway and I’ve already received His approval. I may not be perfect, and I’ll probably have moments on the field when I wonder what the heck I was thinking, but the refreshing part is knowing that His grace also goes with me. I don’t have to love it every second of the day to know that I was called to it. He’s got me covered through this entire process.
I would encourage you to press into what God has for you. If you feel called to something, then do it! Do not fear what others might say. Walk in the confidence that He walks with you and has prepared a way for you.
“So do not fear for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
