“Go sit down!”
“Get in line!”
“Quiet down!”
“Listen to teacher!”
“Eyes up here!”
While teaching this month these are the common phrases I find myself constantly telling my students. Some days I can say something one time and they listen without any problems, other days I feel like I could lose my voice because of how often I’m reprimanding them. Teaching is new to me, being in charge of a class full of children is new to me, and both of these are made especially difficult when a language barrier is involved. I used to get pretty frustrated with the kids and myself when the class got rowdy and I couldn’t gain their attention, but the Lord’s been teaching me a lesson this month, a lesson that I’m sure any teacher would say is a huge one: PATIENCE!
A couple of months ago, I asked my team to give me feedback regarding my patience because this is an area I struggle in. I began to speak out loud during the moments when I was feeling impatient, but it never really went any farther than that. Fast forward to this month with my new team, I told them that patience is something I want to grow in. Then we find out that our ministry this month is full-time teaching and we jump right in.
After the first day I knew that my patience was going to be tested. My team encouraged me to not only be aware in the moment of when I’m feeling impatient, but to also take a minute to step back and change my attitude. This has been monumental for me this month. In taking that step back, I can see that when I choose to act in impatience, I am not acting in love.
I want to be like Christ in my actions and words, I want to speak and act in love. Jesus did this really well. I’m sure there were times when people would question Him or when the disciples did not listen to him that he might have been feeling impatient. However, instead of acting out of the place of impatience, He always acted in love. And thankfully because of God’s grace I have the power to act out of a place of love too.
I’m learning that patience is key to loving well. Jesus loved well through patience, but was patient because it was coming out of a place of love. I think the Lord opened up my eyes this month to see the faces and the hearts of the kids I’m working with. When I take that step back in a moment when I’m feeling impatient or frustrated, I see the child and their heart. I don’t rise up in anger because I see them through new eyes. I can respond in patient love because I can see them as Jesus sees them.
This is also really closely tied to dependency on God. I can’t love well without being dependent on God. For this month, teaching full time has been stretching me. There are long days and sometimes I find it hard to come up with lessons. So I have to depend on God for creativity, for energy and strength to get through the day, and for patience. He hasn’t let me down. There are days where I seem to just breeze through the day and have a fun time doing it. He is constantly giving me new ways to teach simple topics and empowering me with encouragement to keep going on the rough days. I’m learning that if you keep pulling from the well that never runs dry then you won’t run dry either. He’s got more than enough supply to sustain me.
There are hard days. Last Friday in class with my second graders I had two of them in a corner and had to take one to the office so I could have someone translate why I wanted the student to listen. I felt like I was yelling the entire time and not teaching these kids anything. I had one more class that day and before I went into it after telling of my second grade experience, one of my teammates reminded me as I was walking out of the door to be dependent. That simple reminder completely changed my attitude for my last class. God gave me the chance to take a step back so I could check myself and be sure to respond in love and patience with the kiddos…and that last class went great!
It’s definitely a learning process. Even though they’re cute, these kids sure know how to push my buttons sometimes, and I don’t always respond out of a place of love. But I know I’m getting there. I can feel a difference in situations where I used to get frustrated in and now am able to sit back and let it go. Patience is a constant prayer throughout my day. I need it and I crave it. I love loving well, and if patience is how I can get there then I want it.
Keep pulling from the well that never runs dry. Take a step back and really SEE people. Challenge yourself to love well. These are things that I hope for, for myself. I want to live a life influenced by these three statements and to see the fruit that comes out of them. Would you challenge yourself to live in the same way?
