During the final week my team spent in Puerto Galera, Philippines we served as counselors for youth camp. We were each assigned to a team of youth for the week, and Nat and I were to lead team Enoch. One of the activities for each team was to come up with and perform a skit relating to the theme, Audience of One. Team Enoch chose to do Peter walking on the water and little did I know how real that story would get for me a few short days later.
At the end of the week, I went snorkeling. This is a big deal, because Allie Spain does not snorkel, or do anything involving the ocean. I have always had a fear of marine life so getting into open water was never my thing. Side note: I’m also not a very strong swimmer, even in a pool I always seem to be choking on water. So that kept me onshore as well. But when our hosts invited the team to go snorkeling with them, I somehow just knew that I’d be getting in the water that day. And I was really, really scared.
We drive out to the boat and get everything loaded, and then we take off towards our snorkeling site. The entire ride there I was having an internal battle. I knew that snorkeling in the Philippines was a cool opportunity and a part of me wanted to do it. I also knew that if I did decide to do it, I’d have to face my fear of being in the water and deal with living sea creatures swimming very close to me. It also wasn’t helpful that the sky was overcast and the waves seemed bigger out in the deep water.
I was doing a lot of praying on that boat ride. The song “You Make Me Brave” by Bethel was running through my head as our boat slipped further and further away from the shore. Even though I was afraid, I somehow knew that if I decided to get in, that I would experience new freedom. I had been processing fear and freedom a lot the weeks prior to this, and I had basically come to the conclusion that as children of God we have the freedom to do all things without fear because we are His. Because I am His, I am not chained to the boat by fear.
I’m going to pause here for a minute and talk a little bit about Peter. I’m sure most of us know the story…Peter sees Jesus walking on water and decides to join him, but when Peter takes his eyes off of Jesus and instead lets fear creep in as he focuses on the waves around him, he begins to sink. The same goes for us in life too. We step out into something new and exciting with our eyes fixed on Jesus, but then life gets too real and we get distracted by the worldly things around us. And then what happens? We take our eyes off of Jesus and we start to sink. We get scared, lonely, depressed, stressed, and anxious. The good news is that Jesus was there to save Peter, and He’s here to save us too.
So, with help from some encouraging words from my teammates and God’s faithful reminder that He is with me, I resolved to get in the water. The cool thing about snorkeling in this area is that you hold on to a rope attached to a small boat that pulls you over the coral. I slipped into the water and grabbed on to the rope and took my first look under the surface of the water and I was completely blown away by what I saw. At one point as the boat was dragging us around, I lifted my head up and caught a glimpse of the only bracelet I had on that day. It was one that I bought back in Nepal during month two. Around that time, God was teaching me what it meant to truly see Him as father. In that moment in the middle of the ocean, I felt like God was an excited dad showing off all he had made for me.
Snorkeling was honestly one of the coolest experiences, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat! The beautiful colors of the coral and all of the different kinds of fish are things I never would have experienced if I hadn’t gotten out of the boat and into the water. I had to throw off my fear and trust that’d he be out there on the water with me. Because of this experience, I don’t feel afraid anymore. I feel like I can do anything, and I’m going to guess that’s the new freedom God was talking about.
