A stream of events, moments, people… all leading to change. All orchestrated by God.
I was raised by my mom in the Catholic church, but also had some Jewish influence from my dad. We went to church every Sunday, served in whatever ways we could, did things for our elderly neighbors, celebrated some Jewish holidays, went to Temple once in awhile with Gram, and lived life the best way we knew how. When I was in high school, I started to question what I believed in, and the goodness of God. I started drifting away, but then three days before I left for my first year at college, Jesus revealed Himself to me again. (aka I sought Him out), and I began a real relationship with Him.
In college, I began to hear about missions, crazy people doing crazy things for God, and said “no thanks.” August 2009, I was baptized, and then the calling started to become clear. I started getting fed up. I started getting sick of the “American Dream” of success, white picket fences, and stability. That fall, I decided to give up MY plans for my life, and started searching for God’s plan. I would often email my friend Hope Mendola who was currently on the World Race about the future and dreams I had about Cambodia, troubled teens, the YMCA, and disaster relief…
One day, I wrote this quote to her in an e-mail:
"I don't ever want to go back to thinking life is meaningless. i know there are biochemical causes for some forms of depression, but I wish people who struggle against dark thoughts would risk their hopes in living a good story-by by that I mean finding a team of people doing hard work for a noble cause, and joining them. I think they'd be surprised at how soon their sad thoughts would dissipate, if for no other reason than they didn't have time to think them anymore. There would be too much work to do, too many scenes to write." Donald Miller
After I read this, I knew it was time to go. November 10, 2009
I stopped going to college for a degree I was no longer passionate about, classes I was miserable (no joke) attending, and started ridiculously SEEKING and SEARCHING for a calling. I had my own ideas of what full time ministry would look like for me. I started application processes for a few ministries… but obviously that didn’t happen. I took a full time job working the YMCA/JCC, and thought that that was my calling.
“I found my calling! I am going to work for the Christian Emphasis in the Greater Toledo YMCA in the childcare department!” Quoting myself from my journal in January 2010.
Whelp, July 26, 2010, I was let go from the YMCA for an unjust cause. I fought it, and as I pushed, it became very clear that God had something else in mind. Two weeks later, I applied for the World Race. Two weeks after that, I was accepted, and now two months later, I am fully funded and ready to go.
How was I called to this mission?
I don’t know… God just kind of brought me here. I have known for two years now that God has called me to do His work for my lifetime. I have never known exactly what that would look like, and I still don’t. All I know is that I want to RISK for Jesus. I want to STEP OUT in faith like I have never before. I want to bring GLORY to Jesus in everything I do.
Wait… it’s more like: I know that I am CALLED to Risk. I am CALLED to step out in faith like I have never before. I am CALLED to bring Glory to God in everything I do.
A lot of people think that I am crazy for this. They think that I am crazy for stopping college so close to being finished. They think I am crazy for TRUSTING a God I cannot physically see.
What do I have to say to them?
I don’t think I am crazy… I think that I am in love… I am in love with an everlasting, Eternal, forgiving, Sacrificial Father. I will follow Him wherever. Yes, it’s scary, sometimes, but I think NOT following Him is a lot scarier.
I know that I am called to this mission of love. I know that I am called to bring hope, love, grace, and truth to these women, men, and children. I cannot wait to hold that child in my arms, to pray for that woman who thinks life is meaningless. To be Jesus’ light in some of the darkest places of the world.
God has been bringing me on a crazy adventure/journey. Yes, there have been times of suffering, but then times of joy. Yes, there has been times of hardship, but then there’s been amazing comfort. He is so good and even though it’s not always easy to follow the Creator everything, it’s so worth it!
