11 months ago, my team leader, Mathew Snyder, described me like this on his blog:
"She’s a little spit-fire! Allie, to me, is a very unexpected person (and I don’t mean that in a bad way). I was praying for her yesterday morning and the Lord gave me the craziest picture for her. She was standing inside of shoes that didn’t fit her. But she walked around in them with such confidence and with such authority. I felt like I saw hell glance at her and give her no never mind because it didn’t perceive Allie as a threat. Little did hell know… but this girl KNEW who she was. There’s something that a knowledge of identity releases. I’m convinced it’s an uncanny authority. Allie’s walking around with that already. The best part? It gets on people. I’m really eager to see what the Lord does with Allie on this trip. I have a feeling that the impact she’s going to have on women is HUGE… and it’s only going to ripple into a legacy."
…little did he know, (and myself), I was not yet this person, BUT was about to step into becoming just that…
"She was standing inside of shoes that didn’t fit her. But she walked around in them with such confidence and with such authority."
Since returning from the world race, I have stepped into some bigger shoes, size 12 to be exact. I was asked to project lead (alone), short term mission trips all over the United States for Adventures in Missions. During these trips, I would be responsible for handling the logistics, budget, ministry contacts, schedule, and teachings throughout the week. WHAT!? ME!? I remember the day I was given my first trip assignment: Last Vegas in 2 weeks. I was given a packet of instructions, some contacts in Las Vegas, and a password to a blog. Feeling unprepared, having no idea what I was doing or even where to begin, I got on a plane and left for Vegas. In the end, I think that is exactly what God wanted…
because…
I CAME ALIVE. The love of God rushed over me in that week like never before. Jesus spoke right through me, empowering those students and leaders like I never thought possible. I became a leader in God's kingdom that week, and through me, God moved like I have never experienced or visioned for myself.
For the next 3 months, I led 4 other trips to various locations. I learned from those experiences my own strengths and weaknesses. The areas that I allow God to move THROUGH me, and the areas I hold onto tightly, wanting control. (lame). It was a hard 3 months, not going to lie, BUT I knew that I stepped into something. For awhile, I couldn't put my finger on what it was, until I re-read Matt's words. I stepped into:
CONFIDENCE & AUTHORITY… not in myself, but in Jesus. In my God.
God still has bigger shoes for me to step into.
He just gave me another pair today. Size 13…
I leave in 6 weeks for Georgia, where I will meet 5-7 girls whom I will be leading to Phuket, THAILAND for 4 months.
What for? To bring LIGHT and HOPE and the presence of Jesus into one of the darkest places in the world.
Does this make me uneasy? YES. Why you ask? because I don't wear a size 13 shoe (I wear a men's 7), but God is calling me to bigger shoes. The only thing I can do, is rely COMPLETELY and FULLY on God for every decision, every girl's journey, every baht (Thai currency) needed, every month, every week, every day, and every moment we are there. To give control over to the sovereign one, who by far DESERVES it.
I really have no idea why He asked me… All i know is I am left in awe, gratitude, and adoration of Jesus. All I can do is do my best to honor Him and love Him back with all of my being.
Hope Mendola's words of wisdom to me in my journal January 1, 2011:
"Turn to God first and always. Be honest and open. feedback and forgive. Allow God to use your story to tell His. You can have as much of God as you want, but you must WANT Him to the point of no return. when you want something you make sacrifices… Sacrifice for him, Fast. pray. love."
