This past week, I helped out at a training camp for future World Racers. I sat through talks similar to the ones I heard back in October before I left for my race, I ate "similar" food, cleaned bathrooms, and worshipped with the same band. BUT one thing was drastically different: ME.
Before this training camp, I knew I had changed, but really didn't fully understand why or how; UNTIL Monday night. There I stood, with 250 other racers singing the words "I am loved." I could not get the phrase out without giggling in the middle. Every time, I giggled.
Don't get me wrong… I've "known" that God loves me since I was born, but there is a difference between knowing and believing. There is a difference between believing and believing full hearted. I believed, but in that moment, I realized that I then and now believe full heartedly.
Since being back in Toledo with the church fam, people have seen a different Allie. People have explained it differently, but my favorite was told by one of my best friends, Shayna. She said, "There is just a joy in your eye that wasn't there before."
I giggled when she told me that because I knew WHY. Something changes you when you are constantly encountering the LOVE of God. When your eyes are opened, and begin to see a little into how He sees yourself. His creation. His children. You can't help but giggle.
I am pondering more on the HOW. How did God change me?? As I reflect on the past four months, all the heartache, sickness, brokeness, anger, frustration, tiredness, and smells, one thing stood true:
His unfailing love. No matter what I did or how I felt, His love showed through it all. Through an encouraging word from a teammate, a smile from a child, the perfect song on my Ipod, a breeze on a really hot day, a seat on the train, Chik-fil-A workers (blog to come), or a whisper from Him saying "I love you…" His love stood through it all. I saw it, and BELIEVED FULL HEARTEDLY.
I catch myself giggling and smiling for no reason lately.. No reason accept the belief of God's love for me. I want to say that it can't get any better… BUT I know that it does, and all I can do is anxiously wait and giggle.
Back In Ohio with some good friends!
Erin, Me, Hope, and Shayna
