It’s almost the middle of the race! I can’t believe it’s already half-way over. This month in Panama my team, Team F.L.A.M.E. (which is new by the way…we had our first month together in Ecuador last month…check out the girls and their blogs on the left side…they’re great!) and I are doing a ministry called “Unsung heroes” This is where we travel around the country and stay in hostels trying to find ministries to be contacts for future teams.
Right now we are in Bocas del Toro which is a set of islands on the northwestern side of Panama. Tropical. Warm. Nature all around. It’s pretty much paradise. While we were at the bus station waiting for our bus of 10 hours to Bocas from Panama City my teammate called to my attention that my shirt was on backwards. I looked down and not only was it on backwards but also inside out which then I replied, “Aaaaah my whole life feels like it’s inside out & backwards and now it’s manifesting itself in my clothes!”
The truth is before leaving Ecuador I got to the point of being sick of traveling. Sick of constantly changing. Sick of constantly saying goodbye. Sick of unpacking and repacking. Also, to top it all off one of my friends from back home confessed to me something that had happened in the past and it just really shook me up. I never thought it’d be so hard to forgive. Needless to say, I felt backwards & inside out. My whole life felt like it got turned upside down.
However, in the midst of all this. I have seen the Lord’s faithfulness. I have experienced what true forgiveness is. God has been changing things in my heart and speaking truth to me. He has revealed insecurities of mine that I have not yet dealt with. It’s hard when things get brought to light but the end result is oh so good.
The biggest thing God has been revealing to me is how I view my worth. I know I am a child of the Lord, a princess of the King, and beautiful in his eyes…but I haven’t fully allowed myself to soak it in and believe it without other people’s views affecting me. In the past many people have disappointed me but in return I put it on myself and think the reason is because I am “worthless and not of much value.”
These past couple days God has really been showing me the true worth that I am to Him and how people will ALWAYS disappoint us and that we shouldn’t put the blame on ourselves because that’s not fair to the other person nor to us….but we need to live in the truth of who we are in Christ. Rooted. Established. Loved. Cherished.
Valued.
Have you ever struggled with this before? Are you still living entangled in the lies you’ve been listening to all these years and don’t even realize it? I encourage you to go back to those times where you’ve felt worthless and allow the Lord to reveal to you the TRUTH of the situation. It may hurt to go back to those memories but hearing the truth from the Lord himself brings healing and wholeness.
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32
