Come and read, I want you to know me…
For lack of a better phrase like many others, I was born and raised in a Christian home. I grew up with three brothers, two older than me, Josh and Alden, and one younger, Morgan, as well as a perfectly loving and healthy mom and dad. Life was great growing up in the countryside in the small town of Waterford, Pa. (I moved from Susanville, Ca. when I was very young.) My family was happy and got along so well. We had our weekly family nights that were actually something I looked forward to. I was homeschooled for most of elementary and middle school. But as I reached about sixth grade my dad's health took a turn for the worst. Numerous doctor visits and hospital visits couldn't explain what was wrong with him. But finally after months of sickness a diagnosis was made, a type of cancer called lymphoma. It was ok though. I KNEW God would take care of him and heal him. I mean there's NO WAY such a great, loving man with such a pure heart of gold and love for Christ would die from something as terrible as cancer. I went back to public school during the fall of seventh grade so my mom could help take care of my dad. Then there was the night my family was gathered around my dad in the hospital room and he told us what the doctors had said, my daddy had two months left to live. We sat there and cried but I can tell you one thing the doctors were wrong. I'm not sure exactly but my dad held on a lot longer than two months. On March 11, 2003 I was sitting in my English class when I found out my dad had finally let go and went home to be with Jesus.
Well I tell that story because to me it's the turning point for the rest of my life. Following that came many different struggles like depression and anger towards God. It took six years until I finally started working through the grieving process and trying to do something about the depression. I'm also lucky my brother is still alive. He struggled with drug addiction and was in and out of rehab for what seemed like forever. That impacted me more than I realized at the time because I'm now studying psychology thinking about working with substance abuse victims. My mom got married the same year my dad died. That turned out to be a struggle in itself, it’s over now.
So through this all God and I went on quite the rollercoaster ride. For a while I set him on the back burner and managed to forget about things with the help of cheap vodka, cheap beer and boys. Through it all I was just waiting for God to do something and make my hurt go away. I knew he loved me but thought he wasn't showing it. After my first semester at college I was coming out of the darkest depression I had ever been in. It felt like God finally appeared. I knew he was there all along but looking back now he was just waiting for me to fall into his arms because he knew I wouldn't be able to stand on my own much longer. Once I did the voices inside my head vanished. I felt free, like the part where Isaiah says we get to soar on wings like eagles.
Summer after freshman year of college I went on a six week backpacking trip called leadership and discipleship in the wilderness. That stretched me and helped me grow in my identity in Christ. Living in such a close knit community taught me how to be open and honest and how to challenge others in love, and how to forgive. I've lived in several other communities since then, and I've also grown so immensely in love with Jesus Christ. Not to say the rest of the journey has been easy. But it's much lighter when you have a hope and a bigger picture and a desire to live besides yourself for the glory of God, to love and serve "the least of these".
Me and Morgan The fam: Josh, Alden, the graduate-Morgan, Mom, and Me
I Love to rock climb! 
