After a much too short month of ministry in Harbin, China, month 8 debrief happened. Month 8 debrief- a time I thought would never come. Especially back in Africa it seemed so far off. But nevertheless, it came and it went. That means only 3 countries left. It’s the final leg of the race, the home stretch.
HOME…
They said at debrief it’s time to work on accepting the fact that home will come. Sooner than I expect I will be standing in an airport on American soil whether I like it or not. They talked a lot about re-entry into the US, the different responses and processes we may go through, figuring out how to explain the past 11 months to people, and figuring out what’s next. Well, that’s all good stuff and there’s a lot to think about to prepare myself. But right now, to stay focused, I need to ask myself a different question, how am I going to spend my last 3 months on the race?
At this point I am straight up tired. Each day a lot is taken out of me and it takes even more to make sure I am refilled. Daily I think about giving up and going home just so I can take a break from ministry. But a year and a half ago I remember sitting in my room having a conversation with God and I said, “Ok, I’ll go. Send me Lord, I want to go.” I can’t back out on Him now, He made it happen and here I am in Ukraine. I never even thought about this country before the race and now He’s telling me to love the people here despite how I may feel. To be completely honest that’s the last thing I feel like doing every day.
LOVE…
A word that gets thrown around a lot because there are so many uses and definitions for it. I am a human so it is natural for me to love as a human would, based on my feelings, desires, and circumstances. It’s entirely conditional. But the Agape love, that’s the tricky one. It’s the love God has for us. Loving with no strings attached. It’s the most important commandment, to love God, love your neighbor, and love yourself. So I’m pretty sure God isn’t saying love me when you feel like it or when everything is going your way. No, He’s saying love because I first loved you, even when you were prideful and selfish. It’s a simple concept yet so much easier said than done. TRUST ME. Love like this is definitely something that needs to be practiced. Naturally we are all selfish and focused on our own agendas. If for just one minute we would all stop living for ourselves and take a look around we would see a world in need of this kind of love, Agape. This is my opportunity to practice. More often than I would like to admit I don’t want to love because I’m tired, I’m busy doing my own thing, because every time I do love I become vulnerable to heartache. God knows all that and still His commandment stands firm, LOVE, no matter how hard it is.
So that is my challenge for the next 3 months. To love more. Also, I intend to rejoice and maintain a spirit of celebration at all times, it makes life better. God created us to be happy and I have every reason in the world to be happy so why hold back? Plus time flies when you’re having fun so it’s time to have some fun!
