So like most African services it’s hard to pay attention. When you have two pastors preaching in two different languages at the same time into microphones that are projected from speakers turned up way too loud for the size of the room it makes it really difficult to catch even the bits of English being spoken.
We were dancing before the preaching began. There was a little girl begging for my undivided attention. There was a jealousness about her, she had a sweet smile though. As we were dancing she kept motioning for me to come down to her level and she would pull my head in close to speak in my ear. I didn’t understand anything she was saying until one time she said “I love you”, three words very recognizable to me. I think God gave her to me as a gift that night. I was napping before the service and awoke in a bitter, groggy mood and was honestly not looking forward to another loud, incomprehensible, three hour long African church service. But there she was. Smiling. She came up to me and flung her arms around my waste and I couldn’t help but drop the sour attitude and allow myself to step into a moment of childlike bliss. To be present and just dance. She liked to be twirled and spun around the way I do too.
I’m learning to take advantage of the simple moments like that and just be present and love. That is my ministry. Not every moment on the race is full of profound, holy, God moments. And more often than not I find myself asking God to give me the grace I need because I am a terribly imperfect being. In that grace I’m able to be free and just be. I’m certainly convicted at times but never condemned.
The little girl reminded me of myself. The way I long for God’s attention, to be loved by him, and dance with him. It was precious and I couldn’t allow myself to ignore her or let my attitude get in the way. Good thing God says “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness” (Jer.31:3). So I know he won’t ever be too tired to love me back.
