“Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life because of Me will find it. What will it benefit a man if he gains the whole world yet loses his life? Or what will a man give in exchange for his life?”
Matthew 16:24-26
I know to some it sounds crazy for someone like me, only one year into college with the world ahead of me, to stop all of that and leave the country for nine months.
I will be leaving my family. While I’m gone, I will miss my (not so) little cousin get his drivers license. I will miss my only sister’s 21st birthday. I will miss my little brother becoming a teenager. I will miss my youngest brother turning 8 and moving into 3rd grade. I will miss the traditions of Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family that I have always been a part of. I will miss school events and rodeos and all of the other, maybe even unforeseen, moments and memories throughout the year.
I will be leaving my school and my friends and my sorority in whom I have found a home and so much joy and laughter throughout the past few months. I won’t be getting a “little” to give gifts to and bond with when the rest of my rush class will. My friends will be meeting for lunch without me and getting someone else to review their papers or to help them study. I will miss Saturday football games (I’ll still be screaming roll tops from overseas though, don’t worry). I won’t be able to do an internship or any other career development for the year.
I will be missing out on a lot, and I would be lying if I said that that doesn’t scare me. If you know me, you know that I am both a control freak and a perfectionist. I know that it’s unrealistic, but part of me definitely feels like the world is going to fall apart without me here where I can buy Christmas presents for everyone and shop for school clothes for my brothers and help my friends with their homework and make sure that everything is in its place at all times.
With that being said, this life is not about me or what I think I will be missing out on. It’s about how much greater I will be blessed when I choose to take up my cross and follow Him.
When the Lord first laid the thought of the World Race on my heart and I started considering it and then later on battling it, I honestly felt like I was stuck at a crossroads. I could picture myself there, at a fork in the road, trying to decide which path to take. Neither of them seemed explicitly “bad”.
On the one hand, I could stay here, where I am comfortable. I could continue going to college and making friends and bring glory to God by loving on them and encouraging them and being a successful student. I could stay right here in my little American bubble where I am safe, where I have a plan, and where essentially I can at least feel like I am in control. And like I said—that wouldn’t necessarily be “bad”. I would still be going to church and praising Jesus and being a decent person, but I wouldn’t be living radically the way that He has called me to live.
On the other hand, I could surrender my life at the feet of Jesus because I know that He surrendered His life for me. I could live radically for the Lord, following Him wherever He may lead, whatever that may look like. I could let my guard down and allow God to use me in ways that I never thought were even possible. I could let God turn my life upside down and trust Him to make sense of it all. I could follow Him to the ends of the Earth, bringing glory to His name, and living life on the edge of my seat waiting to see what He will do next.
It’s crazy scary, but I am so happy that I have chosen out of God’s grace to let my guard down and live radically for Him. I want to be faithful to Him because I know how faithful He is to me. I want to take up my cross and follow Him with everything that I have and with all that I am because I know that He is worth it. Jesus calls all of us to take up our cross, to lose our life, for Him and for His people and for His glory. Do I feel like I am good enough or faithful enough or “Christian enough” to go on this trip? Nope. Do I feel like I am prepared to live out of a backpack in countries I’ve never been to with people I’ve never met for 9 months? Definitely nope. But do I feel like my God is great enough and strong enough to choose me with all of my flaws and imperfections and use me for His glory anyways? I believe that with all of my heart and I hope that you do too.
I have chosen out of God’s grace and God’s faith and not out of anything of my own, to be faithful to the Lord and to follow Him on this journey to bring the great news of the gospel to the nations of Guatemala, Thailand, Malaysia, and Swaziland. However, there’s a huge mountain that I will have to climb to be able to get there— raising $15,800 to fund my Race.
First I want to make it clear that I don’t want to ask anybody to support me or anything that I do personally because there’s nothing in me worth supporting. However, I hope that you can see the Lord’s hand in this blog post and know that it’s not me that is doing this or planning this, it is all Him.
With that being said, I would love for you all to have the opportunity to be blessed along with me in this journey of taking up each of our crosses and following the Lord with all that we have by being faithful to Him in whatever way that He is calling you. Whether it be through praying for me and my squad and the people that we will be loving on for nine months or through giving out of what God has blessed you with for the furthering of His kingdom, I have faith that God will provide where He leads and that He will bless us for denying our own wants and desires to be faithful to Him and I am so excited to start this journey with you all!
**if you would like to support financially, there is a link to do that on the homepage of this blog 🙂
**if you would like to support through prayer and would like more info about my trip, please get in contact with me and I would be happy to talk with you! 🙂
Wishing you all tons of blessings and a very Merry Christmas,
Alley
