Hi friends, so I have a life update for you all!
Leading up to the race and since I’ve been gone I’ve heard story after story of people on the race surrendering their plans to the Lord and Him just completely wrecking them. People thought they were going to college and then God leads them to discipleship school instead, they plan on going home and God leads them to full-time ministry in a foreign country, they thought they were going home to work and end up becoming a squad leader for the race, etc., etc.
So naturally, I’m terrified of surrendering my plans to the Lord and discussing my future with Him. No thank you pal, I’ve got it figured out, thanks tho. When I graduated from high school I found the perfect school, the perfect program, I’ve got scholarships waiting for me, I love Bowling Green, I love Western, I love my professors and all the students. We’re cool, I’ve got it under control.
But like He does so so often, as soon as I showed even the slightest interest in hearing what He has to say about my future, He took one look at my plans and said “Lol no.”
Last Thursday as we were worshipping, I finally said “Ok God, I’ll let you in. Show me what you want”. And He showed me something I honestly never expected or even considered. What He said was, “You’re ministry is at home”.
As flashes of life at home went through my head, I expected panic. I expected fear. I expected an immediate “No God I cant do that”. I never wanted to live at home. I love my family, I love home, I love my community, but I’ve always wanted to go off and live my own life. In all honestly I hard core judged people who lived at home and went to college because that’s the time when you’re supposed to go out on your own and figure things out.
But instead of panic, all I felt was an immeasurable amount of peace.
In the past week I’ve told some of my friends and family, I’ve filled out the transfer application, I’ve let my advisor know that I’m leaving, and I’ve filled out the FAFSA with just a single school on there—the one 15 minutes from my house. In the back of my head I’m wondering what is going on and why on earth I’m not freaking out, but I can’t explain the peace I feel about this decision. It’s so weird but I’ve never felt anything like it.
God is SO good, y’all. He’s the sweetest gentleman. I thought I knew what I needed but He graciously and tenderly turned me around and pointed me in the way of abundant life. And He gave me the supernatural peace that I needed to make such a big decision. Over the past week since I made the decision He has reminded me of all the good things about home like seeing my brothers all the time, hanging out with my cousin ever day, and seeing all the babies at church that I love. I’m in awe of how sweet He is. He knows my heart, He knows what I need better than I do, He knows where I’m going to find the most joy, and He knows where I’ll be of the most use for the Kingdom and He won’t let me settle for anything less than the best that He has for me. What on Earth. What did I do to deserve this?
SO pumped to live life on the edge of my seat because I don’t have to know what’s going on, His plans are a million times better than mine anyways. Ugh, Jesus. Oh my soul. So to those at home, I’m so excited to do life with you when I get back and find out what awesomeness the Lord has planned for our little community! And to those at Western, I love you so much and I’ll be back to visit, promise. <3
All my love,
ABM
