Alley,
It’s month one of the world race. You’ve just ridden on your first plane and entered your first foreign country, yet still you have no idea what’s coming.
These 9 months will go by so much faster than you think. I know that sounds cliche, but it’s true. Listen when leadership tells you to soak it all in. You will want to introvert all. the. time. Don’t do it. When you get to month 9 you will really wish that you hadn’t spent all those nights reading in your bed. I know that community and building relationships and all the things scares you a lot but jump in with both feet because this experience will change the way you think about community and it will be so sweet and so beautiful. And people really aren’t that scary, they will love you even when you think they don’t.
These 9 months will also be simultaneously a lot harder and a lot easier than you think.
The things that you thought would be hard won’t be. You won’t be living in a tent in the desert. You will be fine, even if you share a living space with frogs and geckos. You’ll learn that the best memories are the ones where the electricity is out and you have to eat dinner in the dark or when the teachers at your school ask you to do an impromptu dance.
But you will have to walk through a lot of emotionally and spiritually hard things. You will have to process through the things that hurt, the things that you would rather just shove off and call it good. Be careful when you ask the Lord to soften your heart and allow you to feel the things because he will and it’ll hurt. But it’s also one of the best things about being human (I mean besides thumbs ya know?). You will learn to choose in to relationships when you’d rather isolate because that seems easier. You will receive hard feedback that will challenge everything about who you are but that’s okay because you’ll learn who you really are.
My best advice is to take the good with the bad. Live every single day as a single day and make the most of the little moments. When it sucks, don’t try to fix it. Let yourself sit in that and feel the feelings. It’s okay to do that. But when it’s great, soak it in. And cut yourself and your team some slack. You’re all just broken humans trying your best to love each other and the Lord. You’ll mess it up sometimes and that’s really okay.
Mostly, just chill the heck out and enjoy the gifts that the Father wants to give you. Sometimes that looks like going to a waterfall and sometimes that looks like having a conversation that you really don’t want to have but I promise they really are all gifts. He knows what he’s doing, so trust him and go with the flow. You will be fine, even when you think you won’t be. And it’s all totally worth it.
I love you a lot. You don’t believe that now, but I do. You can do this, just dig in and don’t give up.
All my love,
Your month 9 self
