Walking into the slums of Metro Manila felt much as if we had returned to South America, even though personally, I had not spent time in the slums of South America, though some of our team has, either in Nicaragua (Central America) or Lima, Peru. I can’t put my finger on what exactly reminded me of the other side of the world, but there were a few aspects.
The friendliness was similar, though I feel the Filipinos seem to ‘outfriendly’ the others. It’s interesting because in Peru, I mentioned to my team that I thought the Peruvians had an Asian look to them. Here, the Filipinos have a Peruvian appearance. During our stay in Montalban, our contacts asked to see pictures from our trip, and chose Peru first. Their first comment was that the Peruvians looked Filipino! I wasn’t the only one that thought this afterall.
Their language, Tagalog, though very little like Spanish, is influenced by Spanish, with a few common words, a blend of two worlds. The words are long and full of ‘G’s’ and ‘D’s, hard for me to pronounce or read! The construction of their homes felt like South America, like the slums I had driven through briefly in Lima.
Their food here seems less Asian than Thailand, or what I imagine China will be. It’s not spicy, and lots of fried chicken! In Manila, fast food restaurants abound, McDonalds and KFC (which are everywhere in the world), but also Pizza Hut, Wendy’s, Burger King, the local Jollibee, and even Taco Bell for the first time since leaving the states. I was pretty happy about that find, I have to admit!
All the malls in Thailand and Philippines are far beyond any mall I have been to in the states. They are high tech, great architecture, super modern looking, and all absolutely enormous! I’m not much of a mall shopper and these still haven’t made me though. I guess in a way, its now a bit of my culture shock. It’s crazy to see the drastic differences between poverty and wealth, and as much as I have more wealth than those in the slums, I have a hard time justifying it at a mall. We visited the newest Manila mall with our Montalban contacts, but didn’t buy anything, except food, and we bought them all ice-cream. They took us there under the impression that all Americans just like to go to malls. Perhaps I am the exception, though I doubt I am alone…
Which leads me to…
Those few days in the slums sent me through the culture shock I though I would have already dealt with by this far into the journey – I don’t think I’ve yet processed it all though. The poverty is so great here, and it’s so different in the city than in the rural areas where I’ve been. Compared to the poverty, I am extremely wealthy, and yet in American terms, I am under the poverty line, and would never come close to being considered wealthy. I see the slums, the ramshackle homes, and trash filled sewage ditches, the lack of education for kids, and wonder how I can go back to America and back to life, knowing the life of some…
The struggle for me is that a part of me sees the poverty of some and I feel as though I should be guilty for having more – that I should deny where I’ve come from and who I am in order to be more ‘humble’. But that is only false humility and a false ‘poverty’ spirit.
In those first few days in Manila, I began to get frustrated that I am called back to the States for the time being because I felt as if I was betraying those in poverty who I have encountered. But as I took this wrestling before the Lord, He spoke truth to me, and encouraged me.
I am American – I was born that way and always will be. I’m proud to be an American, even if I don’t agree with the some of the ways our nation has treated others, or flaunted its wealth and power. I am certainly blessed to have been born into the homeland that I was, but that’s not at all to say that those here are not blessed – it’s different and life is harder. But maybe the blessings have a potential to be greater, when the material wealth is less. They are blessed with a greater faith, a deeper sense of true community and family, and a truer reliance on God.
I will not deny who I am or where I came from. God created me to be who I am and He chose the place in which I would be born and raised. I can’t explain why He chose me to be there and not others, but He did. He has called me to be an American who loves and serves Him with my whole being, inside and out. It’s a life of sacrifice and though I don’t know that that looks like practically at this point, and I’m not sure I will ever have a definition, I know that as I pour my life out to Jesus and to others, that I will become more like Him in Spirit.
I have written this blog over the course of a couple days, and after the above section, Amy mentioned that she has been wrestling with the same things. She shared something she read in a book that said that poverty is not the answer to greed (or wealth), generosity is. When God has given much, much is required. I have been given much and I have the choice to be obedient and invest it in His kingdom or be greedy and keep it to myself. Or – choose to not use what God has given me because I don’t want to risk becoming greedy and in that, I am withholding that which God has called me to give. Generosity is actually a harder choice than choosing poverty in my case, knowing that God has called me to make money, at least for now.
Am I willing to humble myself to be obedient, following the call of God in my life, which demands of me a deeper generosity than I have known, not only in finances, but by investing in people’s lives? Can I commit fully to where God has called me, trusting that He knows what He’s doing? I want to, and yet all too often, I succumb to doubt that I am hearing Him.
God brought both Amy and I to 1 Corinthians 7:17, where Paul says, “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.”
For me to deny my calling or believe that it is of lesser value, or a shame is to dishonor and disbelieve my Almighty God. I KNOW the truth – I know my calling for the next bit of time (no say one exactly how long that is, but a little while).
And so now I choose to believe.
