Tuesday evening we were back at the Lighthouse. I was on dish duty again but while the message was being shared one of the guys (Dennis) came up to me and asked a couple questions – one being if there was a way he could get a Bible. He then started sharing with me that he was thinking about killing himself. Hasn’t had those thoughts in 5 years but he did try to kill himself 5 years ago by cutting his wrist. Dennis pulled up his sleeve and showed me the scars. Feels like no one will help him. Feels hopeless. I didn’t talk with him long before the message ended and people were starting to line up to get food. We were in the way… I had to get to my spot… being a girl they don’t want us talking to any of the guys by ourselves… but he needed to talk. What to do?
This was a very difficult decision for me. Coming from my job on a suicide prevention hotline, I knew he HAD to talk to someone… I could not just let him walk away. I informed him I was going to look into getting a Bible for him (since he was asking for one) and that we were going to get him some help. Asked if he wanted to eat while I did that. He decided to get some food and agreed to my getting someone to help him. Talked with Rocheanne and informed him what was going on – he sent Nigel to get a Bible from downstairs. I told Nigel to talk with Dennis once got the Bible for him. I then headed back to do dishes.
It was very hard for me to sit back and have someone else to talk to him – I’m the one that has a background in doing assessments and things but that is not my role here and I don’t know the resources here to link him up. I did my “job” of washing dishes and PRAYED. I prayed for Dennis and I occasionally peaked out to make sure he was still there and that he didn’t leave without someone talking to him. Saw that there were a couple volunteers over there talking to them and I prayed for wisdom and the words to say. I anxiously waited to find out what happened. Once someone came into the dish room, I asked what happened. They let me know that they gave a Bible to Dennis and talked with him. He had a friend (Kennedy) with him who agreed to take him to Samaritans (a crisis center) which happens to be across the street. (reminds me of work back home… right across from our homeless shelter…)
