I haven’t had much time or brain energy to write a blog recently. This semester has been crazy busy with my internship as a high school math teacher. I thought my senior year (or 5th year) would be the easiest and most relaxed. I was off by a long shot. This semester I have felt as though I have no life and many times have just wanted to break down and cry. Almost every day I have had the constant thought ‘I am a failure. I can’t get this thing right no matter how many different ways and times I try.’ Then I heard the Lord whisper into my ear ‘Alison, you DON’T love well.’ Ouch! I like to think of myself as a well liked and loving person. Wasn’t it enough that my students constantly remind me that they do not like me, no apparently not, God decided to put the cherry on top by telling me I don’t love well. Just before I began to complain and defend myself to God, He whispered ‘You don’t love well because you are not loving with my love.’ And there was the answer to all my problems.
I have been so focused on school and fundraising this semester I haven’t taken enough time to spend with the Lord. Instead, I have been attempting to do life and to love on my own strength and my own accord. I have heard from World Race alum that almost every racer goes through a point of the Lord breaking them down to build them up in Him. Well, the Lord is giving me a glimpse of that breaking down process and it hurts.
Yesterday I went hiking with some friends and I wore my Chaco’s. I have never gotten a blister from them before. However, yesterday proved me wrong. I got a huge deep blister right in the middle of the bottom of my right foot. I came home from hiking to clean it out. I poured hydrogen peroxide on it and boy did I scream. I am such a baby when it comes to pain. But I know that it has to be cleaned out and I have to go through the pain in order for it to heal.
This is what I’m looking forward to on the race. I’m looking forward to the Lord stripping me down and breaking me down. I’m terrified of the healing process. But oh, what a glorious day it will be when I am healed and walking even more closely and dependent on the Lord’s love and strength.
I am a month and a half from training camp and 3 months away from launch! I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for me and what He is going to use and do to break me down and build me up in Him. In order for me to go, I still have $8,500 left to raise. Brothers and sisters in Christ, I need your help! You can help financially by donating online to the left where it says 'support me.' I am also selling t-shirts and bracelets in order to raise support. Thank you so much for all the prayer and support you have given me already!
