When I arrived in Nepal, I was tired, overwhelmed, lost, but excited. And when I left Nepal, I was tired, overwhelmed, lost and excited. But even though the feelings fall under the same name, that’s where the similarities end.
I was tired because I spent all of my time the last few days hanging out with some of the greatest people I’ve ever met. You know those people that you’re just drawn to? I was living with a whole family of them. I woke up at 5 am to play soccer with them. I stayed up late having dance parties, and talking and being goofy. I spent my time getting to know people, investing and being in community. I wasn’t tired from traveling 30+ hours, I was tired from loving.
I was overwhelmed, not from being in a new country, but by the love I felt for them, and the love I felt from them. I came into the Race expecting to pour out all that I had, but instead I was poured into with a constant flow. I was overwhelmed by the sadness that I wouldn’t be playing soccer with Sameer, Sujan, and Samar anymore. Or joking around with Roshan. Or hearing the wisdom offered by Brian and Ruth. I was overwhelmed because I so desperately wanted to take these people with me, but knowing that if I did that, they wouldn’t be where they belong, and they wouldn’t be doing the Lord’s work that made them so great.
I felt less lost in the city, I knew places I liked and didn’t like, and how to get to them. I knew how to take a taxi or ride the bus. But I no longer knew where I belonged. I felt at home in Nepal, but my home is America. I had grown roots, only to be uprooted. But here I am, shaking off the loose dirt, waiting to be planted somewhere new.
But I also felt excited. I had spent a month seeing what the Lord is doing in Nepal, and I know that it’s going to continue on without me. I know that the people I met there, that loved me so well, are going to love the next team just as well. Because they love out of the overflow. They love the Lord so much that it just permeates into every other part of themselves until it’s just the way that they are. And I feel excited that I now get to grow roots in India, and fall in love the same way.
Leaving Nepal was one of the hardest goodbyes I’ve ever experienced. I left a piece of my heart behind. It hurt a lot more than I would care to experience at the end of each month. It would be so much easier, so much less painful, to not grow roots. To not invest. But each time I grow roots and get uprooted, I grow stronger, and the people I’m leaving also grow stronger. So I pray for 10 more painful, tear-soaked goodbyes, and 10 more new homes to return to.
