A vast landscape of sand continued on in every direction for what seemed like forever. As I walked deeper and deeper into the desert, the sun only began to intensify. As the light reflected off the sand my eyes burned. It was difficult to get any clear picture. The sound of the sand flying in the wind made it nearly impossible to hear my Dad’s voice. I was parched and my body became weak. I was too exhausted to walk forward. My body wanted to faint and my mind was weak and confused. I felt nothing short of numb, dry, and emotionless. I opened my mouth to cry out for help, but my voice just faded into the gusts of sand. I searched for water and found none. The enemy danced circles around me, his mouth filled with lies. Temptations were not scarce. The end was nowhere to be seen. If only I set my gaze on the horizon and pushed forward, then maybe I would stir up enough energy to make it out of the desert.
God began to whisper truth into my heart – it’s not a bad thing to have a season in the desert. The Israelites walked through the desert for forty years and Christ walked through the desert for forty days. They were hunger and thirsty – the Lord provided water and manna. Christ was tempted by the enemy – God gave him strength to withstand. The Israelites walked out of the desert into the Promise Land and Christ walked out of the desert to begin his ministry. Every drop of water my Dad puts on my tongue satisfies me. He is a provider and His provision is sufficient. The enemy tempts me with lies, but my Father whispers His truth in my ears. God was preparing them for something big and He has been preparing me for something big, something good.
I never thought that I would have to walk through a desert on the Race. In fact, that was exactly what I hoped to avoid. I have been in valleys and on mountain tops, but I’ve never felt like I was in a ‘desert,’ not like that. No matter how hard I pushed into prayer, into His word, into rest in Him, into grasping how inconceivably glorious God is, still I felt dry and empty. God was teaching me the blessing it is to walk through the desert. Through it He taught me perseverance in faith. The desert was the last place I wanted to be, but I wouldn't change it for anything – it was a blessing.
Even if we feel nothing, especially when we feel nothing, it is in those times that it is most important for us to press in and be real with our Dad.
Dad, give me faith. I want to trust in you. I want to be filled with your joy, passion, and desire. I want to be desperate for you. I want to be filled with your Spirit. I want to love like you love. I just want to be sitting in your presence.
