“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
2 Timothy 1:7
God has not given us a spirit of FEAR and TIMIDITY because he lives inside of us, the holy spirit lives inside of ME.
What has Ecuador meant to me this month? Where to begin? Ecuador will always hold a special place in my heart. Not only were our contacts and our ministries beyond awesome but God has brought so much freedom and redemption for me this month. Honestly, it is hard for me to put into words all that God has been doing for me and through me. I have thought about writing this blog for awhile now and I have been at such a lose. I prayed for wisdom in writing this blog so I hope it speaks to you. I am not holding back any more, I can’t hold back any more. The holy spirit is way too BOLD!
FREEDOM
I have wrote about freedom in past blogs and God is still bringing me into this new found freedom and what it looks like. It is a constant battle between my spirit and my flesh. I had really been struggling with having that balance of truth and of spirit. There were a few days when I was just processing so much that I was becoming really distant from my team and the enemy kept telling me that I just needed to deal with stuff on my own but I know that isn’t true. I now know that when we feel like we don’t want to talk to anyone is when we need to talk to them the most. God intended for us to live in community and encourage one another. I got called out on being distant and it sucked to hear but it was really good at the same time. I’m learning to become an open book and to trust my heart to my brothers and sisters in Christ. The team and I talked about that balance and I opened up about not knowing how to have that balance and one of my teammates said that I didn’t need to focus on the balance. What I need to do is focus on the holy spirit and letting him become greater inside of me because the holy spirit is that balance. WHOA! Talk about truth.
“He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.” John 3:30
BOLDNESS
I have never been a really timid person but I have been somewhat worried about stepping on peoples toes and offending them. “If they kept quiet, the stones along the road would burst into cheers!” Luke 19:20 That verse is in red letters in my bible, that means that Jesus Christ himself said it! I don’t know about you but I don’t want the rocks to have to cry out because I’m not willing to cry out for my Lord. Isn’t that a sad thought to think that the rocks would have to cry out because of our unwillingness to. It honestly breaks my heart to think about that. Mere rocks are willing to cry out but we aren’t! ROCKS!…c’mon people. Open your mouth and cry out!…the voice of truth is on the tip of your tongue waiting to jump off! “I call to you, to all of you! I raise my voice to all people…for I speak the truth and detest every kind of deception.” Proverbs 8:4-7 God gave me this verse one night for someone…we prophesied over each other by grabbing a piece of paper with a person’s name on it. We prayed about what God was telling us to give to the person but we didn’t know who we drew. Wouldn’t you know that I wrote this super long prophesy and I was thinking to myself…”Dang, God has a lot to tell this person, they really need to use their voice that God has given them!” Wouldn’t you know that I got myself. God is so funny sometimes! When we were in the Dominican Republic someone prophesied the voice of truth over me and then I got that verse…almost a month later. Also, one of my teammates got a vision of me with the word truth on my tongue and the name Alison means “truthful”. Do you think God is trying to tell me something? I am walking out of timidity and INTO boldness, my voice WILL be heard! The Lord will USE my voice!
MY IDENTITY
“If you cling to your life, you will lose it and if you let your life go, you will save it.” Luke 17:33 God has been revealing so much to me about the things that I have let define my identity and the people who I have let mold my character. He is bringing me into this new identity in HIM and not anyone else OR myself. I can’t cling to my life any more, I can’t cling to the past or who I was because I am honestly not that person any more. I know it is only month 2 but I am changed. By the end of this I will be completely unrecognizable. I pray that I won’t look like me anymore, that people won’t see me but that they will see the holy spirit inside of me. As a women I have found my identity so much in my looks and in the recognition from man but that’s not who I am any more. My beauty is defined by the Lord inside of me. God told me to throw out my make-up…I know! God told one of our squad leaders to not wear make-up for at least a month and when she told us it convicted me so here I am, in the same boat as her. I don’t know when he will let me wear it again but I’m not worried about it. I am just so excited for God to continue to bring me into this new identity in him.
The team and I leave for Peru either Sunday night or Monday morning so you can be praying safe travels for us and the other teams. You can also continue to pray team unity over us and for my flesh to become less and the spirit to become more inside of me. God is so great, I encourage YOU to let him speak boldly through you.
Don’t let the rocks cry out!
