So I’m sitting here in El Salvador, trying to think of something to write about so I’m just going to be raw with you and share my thoughts and emotions.
I have been thinking a lot about my desires and the Lord’s desires and what desires I have that are not of the Lord. I feel like lately I have had one foot on one side and then my other foot on the other side. What I mean is that there are so many things of the world that I want but I feel like I want God more…I know that I want God more. I have to wake up every day and give it all the God and when I say all, I mean ALL. I know that God has put desires inside of me and that its okay to have desires but I also know that God’s time is better than my time and sometimes I have to wait for God’s time. If you know me at all then you know that I am not a patient little lady so the waiting period is hard for me, REALLY HARD. Sometimes I just want to yell at God and tell him that I want it now!…but I know that there is so much I can learn in the waiting. I mean patience is one of the fruits of the spirit so its pretty legit. I know this blog is just me rambling but I want you to know my heart and I want you to know how to pray for me.
El Salvador is beautiful and has been so amazing. Yesterday we got to go ministry to prostitutes and I met a lady named Kathy. The biggest desire of my heart as of now is for Kathy to know the love of God. I could see in her eyes that she was broken, the she needed love that only the Lord has. I talked to her and shared some of my story with her. I saw on her arms many scars from where she cut herself and it broke my heart. God told me to share with her when I was depressed and didn’t want to live. I did, and it wasn’t easy and it’s not easy writing that in this blog but I want to be real with you all. I know that we all have a story and our story can touch others. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to say to her but God gave me the words. I told her that she has value, that she was made in God’s image and he loves her so much more than she could even imagine. I just want her to know her VALUE!…I want you all the know your value. God has been showing me more and more just how much value that I have. Kathy began to cry and I coud tell that she wanted this love that I told her about but she said that she has messed up too bad and that she is damned to hell. I know this is a lie from the enemy and I told her that we are all worthy of death but the same grace that has given me life can give her life! I can’t even explain all the emotions that I was feeling during the conversation. I just want her to realize how beautiful she is to the Lord. I am telling you this story so that you will know how to pray for Kathy and how to pray for me. She said that I could come back this week and talk to her some more. Pray for her heart to be open to what I am going to say to her and pray that the Lord gives me words to say. I know this blog is kind of everywhere but I don’t really have a whole lot of time right now to take on a blog but I will try to write a better one soon. I just wanted you all at home to know that God is doing big things here in El Salvador and he is doing big things in me! I appreciate all the sacrifice that you have made to get me here and I appreciate all the prayers…keep them coming! I need them.
May the Love of God rush over you all like an uncontrolable wave!
