I’m feeling extra honest today with a dash of sass. Uh oh! If you know me then you know this is a dangerous combination.
Everything inside of me has been screaming “GO!” What am I doing working in an office? Don’t get me wrong, I love working for Adventures in Missions but I want to be out there like saving people and stufffffff. Ya know what I’m saying? I want to be in Thailand fighting sex trafficking and declaring worth and value over women. I want to be on the front line of the battle field! So why am I here? Ah, that question has been haunting me lately. I mean I get it, I know why I’m here. So why? I’m scared to say it or uhhh type it out because that means I am held accountable. Darn, acountability. I’m here because…drum roll…
I need my character developed. Yep. I said it. The truth is out ladies and gentlemen, I’m not perfect. But really, God has been showing me more and more lately just how flawed my character is. Ouch. Fun stuff, I’m talking Six FREAKING Flags…NOT. But I want it. Honestly, I do. I want my character to be developed because I want HIM. I want all of Him. I don’t want to look like me anymore, I want to look like Him. “If Jesus is in you then the Kingdom is near…If Jesus is in you then THE KINGDOM IS NEAR.” Georgia, Texas, Thailand…it doesn’t matter. I want to bring the Kingdom. It doesn’t matter where I am. It doesn’t matter that I am working in an office doing logistical stuff (funny, huh?) because I am bringing the freaking Kingdom! Every morning I have to declare stuff over myself. Its actually pretty funny sometimes. Sometimes its just me declaring that “It’s going to be a fantastic day!” but other times its me fighting for my voice, I mean FIGHTING for my voice. I have felt the enemy trying to silence me like crazy lately but I know that if he is silencing me then he is silencing the voice of the Father inside of me and there is no way I am going to let that happen.
So I find comfort in knowing that although I may not be exactly where I want to be (key word-I), I am exactly where the Lord wants me. So bring it on, bring on the character development and bring on the Kingdom.
“He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.” John 3:30
