Hey guys! These are my legit thoughts after the first couple days here in Africa. It seems really small but if you know anything about me, you know bugs are the bane of my existence. Enjoy.
I turn over on my sleep pad only to hear the pitter patter of rain on a tin roof. Again. A downpour. I realize I made the wrong choice when I left my heavy duty rain coat back in Colorado. It’s been days since I last worked out and I know my body is craving it. I’m not sure how many more rice packed meals, I can take without any physical activity besides walking to and from the bathroom. I decide to brave the rain and I start to get ready. My bright coral Nikes will probably never be this bright again, but it’s something I knew coming into this. I open the door and it swings out from a gust of wind. I regain control before it hits the shelf behind it, which could wake everyone in the house. The mist covers the beautiful scenery and the a light grey hangs over the compound. I decide to walk around the back of the house and do some body weight exercises.
The wind blowing against my skin gives a light scratch to my 40 bug bites. I violently scratch in between sets, as I begin to wonder if my skin will ever be normal again. Will it always be covered in itchy red bumps? I can’t make a rational decision because I’ve never had 40 bug bites before. It’s getting harder to see as the wind gusts get a little stronger and the rain hits a little harder. This sucks. I give up and go inside after 20 minutes of a small attempt to exercise. My clothes are too wet, and I’m too irritated with the itchiness of my skin. I decide my body can survive a few more rice meals before I brave the rain again. I knew bugs and weather would be something I would have to get used to, but I didn’t think it would happen this soon. Is this really what you want from me Lord? I know I’m complaining, but I didn’t think it would look like this. I remember imagining what my thoughts would be once I’m on the race living life. I didn’t think I would have to many hateful thoughts towards every biting insect on this earth.
God you are good. I repeat to myself over and over again as I rummage through my tent for some clean dry clothes. I change my clothes and try to find some peace in my wild mind. I remind myself that I’ve been broken before, and I will most likely be broken again. However, this is not my breaking point. I know when I reach it I will need to remind myself more than ever why it is I came here and how it’s never truly been about me. I hear my teammate tell me it’s time for breakfast, and I think warm thoughts of the tea they make us from the lemon tree out front. I think to myself ‘Small victories Alisha, small victories.’
Love,
Alisha
