but…why me?
This is a question that I wrestled with for months after being accepted to go on the race.
Why, God, have you chosen me? Surely there is someone better suited for this. I think you have the wrong girl. I know you have the wrong girl.
Now, don’t get me wrong…I have dreamed my whole life about serving overseas and traveling to meet the needs of those who have yet to hear the precious name of Jesus. I am ECSTATIC to walk through this door that God has opened for me.
But I found myself doubting. Doubting that I was enough. Doubting that my brokenness could be used for good. Doubting everything.
But do you trust Me?
Ugh.
Once again, I heard God as He met me in my place of doubt and reminded me of a beautiful truth: It is ONLY through His Spirit that I can do anything. It’s not about me, and it’s not in any way based on my human capabilities. It is based solely on the provision of the Father. So no, I am not enough. I am not enough on my own. And how beautiful is that?
“My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.”
Psalm 73:26
It is by His grace, mercy, and power that I can get up everyday, take up my cross {Matt. 16:24-25}, AND…in less than six months, travel to 11 countries boldly proclaiming His truth.
This whole experience has been incredibly humbling as I have realized that I really, honestly, and truly cannot do this on my own. SO, when there are days that you feel like the day or task ahead is just too big to overcome, remember that God will give you strength in your time of need. He is faithful, and where He guides, He provides.
We, on our own, are not capable. We will fall short every. single. time. BUT, with God, we are more than conquerers. If we can humbly lay our lives at the foot of the cross, our sweet Father can transform any and everything into something that can be used for His glory.
I now know and trust that God has intentionally chosen me to go on the World Race. He has taken my brokenness and turned it into a beautiful love story of forgiveness, redemption, and grace, and now I get to share that with the world.
Be attentive to God’s voice. What is He calling you to do? What is holding you back today?
