So I’ve been reluctant to make a public announcement of my recent experience of harassment from my ex-husband but I’m sure those of you who subscribed for emailed updates on my posts are wondering what is going on.
So I left an abusive marriage over a year ago. I just couldn’t take the mental, emotional and spiritual abuse anymore. It was a hard decision to make given my christian values, and fact that I was in love with him. We had a connection I never experienced with anyone else. He kneeew me and we practically finished each other’s sentences. But there was a dark side of him. So after many months of prayers I felt at peace with leaving. i kept feeling reaffirmed by God that this abuse was not what He had for me.
He continued to harass me but I took every safety measure recommended.I shut down all e-mail accounts, my phone number, all social media accounts And I moved. The only thing I kept was a google voice number. For some reason, I was still hoping he would change and get some help and that maybe we could reconnect. Then he would do or say something incredibly abusive and I would cut contact again. I admit that this misguided hope led me to further working on myself and getting to the root of why I kept putting up with this abusive behavior.
it wasn’t just love, or shame from religion associated with divorce… It was a mixture of things. He made me believe that I was abandoning him in his sickness called drug addiction which was a direct violation of my vows that I made to God.. And it was my tolerance for abuse as I saw my dad be emotionally abusive to my mother.
All things considered I was reminded of my identity in Christ. That He loves me and wants the best for me.He doesn’t want me living my life in an abusive relationship with someone who uses my faith against me as a tool. That is the devils work. And the devil has no authority in my life since I took Jesus as my Savior.
Fast forward 16 months. He is clean and in recovery but the abuse remains. He started by making contact with me at church. Almost 2 months ago I let him say his piece. He seemed like he just wanted to tell me his recovery success but the darknes lingered. He started off telling me his success but ended it with telling me a story of almost stabbing his first ex-wife with no remorse. I ended the conversation, wished him well, but let him know I did not want him making contact with me at church. He seemed to understand but yet his actions said otherwise. He was Soon back to reaching out to me through other people. A form of abuse by trying to publicly humiliate me because I would have to tell them what was going on. He thinks I would be too scared but he was wrong. His actions against me say more about him than me.
In the past I would respond to his actions with hateful words. I would say things I regretted later. That is not the case now. This time I used my tools. I respectfully let him know where I stood and when he crossed my boundaries I informed my leadership team. I asked them to help me keep my boundaries healthy and respected because his contact was escalating despite my clear communication.I was met with such respect,grace, and love that I can only thank God for. They wanted to extend the same grace to him while also conveying that they intend to protect my space within the team and asked him to respect my boundaries. He stormed out and proceeded to continue his harassment via Facebook, he’s commenting slanderous things on my missions site for the World Race, and releasing sexual photos that I took for him during our marriage.
I am mortified by this behavior and I am truly sorry that you all are getting to view him in this light. His slanderous comments about me are a twisted version of the truth and go against everything in my heart and everything God sais about me. I’m now painfully aware that drugs and mental health have nothing to do with this abuse. He will continue being an abuser until he does the work and trusts God to heal these defects in character. Unfortunately he is not there yet. I will continue to lift him up in prayer and anyone who is or has experienced abuse. and I hope you all will do the same. God is the One True Healer. I’m not sure where to go from here as this harassment is very much effecting me mentally and emotionally but I know God will lead me. I will go wherever He leads me. And I will continue to speak on all He has done for me and all He has done for us so that we can have salvation and a relationship with him.
