Sometimes it’s quite tempting to sit around and worry about my life. As Shel Silverstein so aptly puts it, One night while I lay thinking here, some Whatifs crawled inside my ear.
I’m behind on support raising. Where in the world is the money going to come from?
Oh goodness, how will my thesis possibly be completed this spring?
What am I going to do this summer after I graduate?
But God has been teaching me about worry—specifically, not to do it.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
That sounds like a tall order. How can Paul command me not to be anxious about anything? It seems like theres always something to be anxious about. And sometimes anxiety even seems like a good thing, because it shoos me out of procrastination and into action.
But then I wondered, what does being anxious say about God?
Being anxious says
that God is not in control—but I should be
that he’s not trustworthy
that he’s not faithful
that he’s not the good, loving Father
that his grace is insufficient—but my salvation is value or merit based
that focusing on my circumstances is more important than focusing on God
Ultimately, being anxious holds me to living out of a place of lies about the gospel. Anxiety tells me that God is not who he says he is—sovereign, faithful, trustworthy, good, love, Father—and that I am both greater than I am, and condemned for adopting a works-based gospel.
The truth is, there is NO NEED for a child of God to be anxious. Why? Because we know God, and we know who he is.
For we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and who are called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
That is a fact about his character and a sure promise about his activity in the lives of his children. And amazing as it is, it’s just one of many truths God shares with his children so that we might trust in him.
So then what does NOT being anxious say about God?
Choosing to turn to God rather than be anxious says
that God is sovereign over our circumstances
that he is listening
that he will respond
that he is greater than our problems
that bringing our problems to him is more powerful than trying to fix them ourselves
that he is good
that what he says is true
that he LOVES his people
that he is worth following even when our circumstances don’t clearly reveal his presence and goodness
Imagine what Gods people would look like if we were literally never anxious! A people perpetually full of peace—that would stick out. What an awesome witness to God’s glory, that our God is the God of crazy, unfathomable PEACE.
Anxiety is a choice: that’s why Paul commands us not to entertain it. Praying and thanking God is also a choice, and a much more fruitful one. Not being anxious doesn’t mean flippantly disregarding the seriousness of a situation. Rather, it means asking God to intervene, thanking him for his promises that he already is, and claiming and resting in the peace he provides.
As I choose not to be anxious about the future, I’m reflecting on some recent instances where the Lord proved anxiety to be unnecessary.
Computer issues: In the last couple of months of this semester, my computer began having debilitating problems for no discernable reason: first with the partitions, then the RAM, then the logic board. This was frustrating and discouraging, and I can’t say I was a perfect example of peacefulness throughout. But God provided ample school computers for me to use while mine was out of commission, wonderful roommates who let me borrow theirs in a pinch, helpful and attentive Apple Geniuses who searched diligently to find and fix the issues, and finally an elegant solution that will resolve my computer issues better than I’d ever imagined.
My health: I generally forget at least one thing (if I’m lucky, only one) when I’m packing to travel (oooh boy, isn’t the Race going to be fun!), and this time, I was silly enough to leave behind a prescription medication when going home for Christmas. And by home, I mean Thailand, a little far away from my Target pharmacy counter. But God provided again, and in one trip to the local pharmacy, without a prescription, I had EXACTLY the same medication that I’d forgotten at my apartment.
Applying for the Race: Recently I was talking with a friend who is applying for a different missions opportunity after graduation. We both agreed that the wonderful thing about these applications is that the question is not, are you more qualified than the person standing next to you? Rather, it’s is this what the Lord is calling you to at this time? It’s a great comfort and very freeing to know that so much prayer is going into the decision on both the applicant’s and the program’s side that you can trust that God’s hand is all over it, whether the answer is yes or no.
So, having been commanded not to be anxious, and having experienced the Lord’s love instead, I’m choosing not to worry about:
My personal safety on the Race: Explaining to people who care about me, particularly my family, why I’m not worrying about going into potentially dangerous countries has been one of the more challenging aspects of sharing what Im doing. I expect that in eleven months on the field, I will find myself in some dangerous situations. But I’m not anxious because I know who my God is, and he will be with me and be my protection everywhere I go.
My support: $16,264 + meds + gear is a LOT to raise, and sometimes it feels very daunting (especially since I’m behind in my own efforts to raise it). But God’s grace is greater, and while I don’t expect that the process will be a cakewalk, I do expect that he will provide.
My pre- and post-Race plans: This spring, I’ll be sending out lots of applications for all kinds of positions that may lead me to something either before or after the Race. Currently I have no idea what I’ll be doing during either period. I have dreams and goals and loose plans, but ultimately, I’m trusting in God to provide, both this summer and two years from now. I have complete faith that he has called me to the Race, and that he knows the plans he has for me, now and for the years to come.
God promises his peace in place of anxiety, and that’s not to be discounted or belittled. What Whatifs are you prayerfully not anxious about?
