Do you ever just lay in bed at night overthinking your whole life. Trying to plan out what your future will look like… oh i will be engaged by 24 or 25 knowing you’re single as all get out. BUT I will definitely be married by 26 I just know I will. Don’t forget them babies y’all.. hmmm yes I will be a mother by 29. I would’ve already graduated from college, heck even my masters if I’m having it my way. I will be working my dream job with my dream husband and my angel children. Psht what could go wrong.
Those are just my 3 a.m. thoughts. Funny I know.
Many times I just sit and think on all the things I should’ve been doing or should’ve been done with. I sit and think on the things I should be doing.
I should be graduating from college this year
I should’ve already ordered my cap and gown
I should wake up each morning and go for a jog and eat my healthy food
I should be better in my quiet time and my prayers
When I first found out about The World Race I told my 19 year old self when you turn 21 we’re doing this thing no doubt about it. LOL man did life and a relationship not make that happen. But here I am 22 years old ( I should be returning from the world race or getting close to returning if i went when I said I was going too) now preparing to embark on this journey of a life time.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
I don’t know about y’all but so many times I catch myself dreaming about m future but then get disappointed when it doesn’t happen. So many times I catch myself telling God what I want or what I need.. because it works like that right? Yeah not even close.
Something I’m learning on this experience of preparing myself for the race is to be obedient and trust in God. That things will not always go my way (crazy!) but there’s a reason it’s not going my way.
God has a plan for me, for you, and for everyone. I still like being a dreamer but i’ve just learned that just because I dream and want it doesn’t mean it will happen.
So for now i’ll stop being so hard on myself for not graduating college yet and not doing this or that.
I have people ask me how can you just leave for a year, or are you not afraid of what you’ll miss out on?
This is my calling. I’m called to go and spread the Gospel. Am I going to miss out on things back home well of course but could you imagine what I would miss out on if I wasn’t obedient.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
