Hello friends! I am so sorry for the lack of blog posting. Wifi has been hard to come by over the past two months. Team WOP had lost a teammate coming out of month 1 which was a bit of a shock to the team. She decided to go home during debrief in Durban, which made me the sole leader of the team. I believe this was the Lord’s way of easing me into a season of leadership that I otherwise would have said no to. As a team, we have adjusted and redefined who we want to be moving forward. Month 2 was extremely challenging both physically and spiritually. On top of being exhausted from long days of ministry, the dark spiritual realm weighed on us as well. Overall, it was a great month of growth, Kingdom advancement, and eye-opening lessons.
For instance, I never knew just how much my American culture impacted my outlook on life’s purpose. Month 2 in Botswana presented me with many trials and stretching situations that have led to revelations about who I am. I thought that prior to coming on the race I was doing ok when it came to living life. I was a full time student finishing my degree, I worked part time, led a women’s small group for a season, ate healthy, exercised regularly, and actively served in my church. I thought that eventually I would find a job that suited my interests, marry a Godly man, and continue to serve the Lord by going on a mission trip a few times a year.
Although this was the plan in my head, there was a voice in my heart that kept telling me there had to be something more. That the life I wanted for myself was based on a culture that likes to be safe and comfortable and that if I fell into it, I would be missing out on something much greater. I kept feeling that there is something bigger, scarier, and more fulfilling than what I was willing to settle for. I wanted to know more about this feeling in my chest.
Our squad mentor sent us a journey marker that helped me begin to sift through these feelings. She said that most people in western societies know Jesus as a meek and mild man who called a few guys to be his followers and died on a cross. This one-sided, safe view of our Savior has transferred over to how we live our lives as believers. However, we quickly forget about the other side of him. Dangerous Jesus. The Jesus that is described all throughout the gospels as a man who boldly spoke life into everyone he met, the Jesus who raised people from the dead and empowered his disciples to heal the sick and bring sight to the blind. The Jesus who was committed to a life of total abandonment in order to fulfill a divine purpose of the Father.
I too have been guilty of being ok with the meek and mild Jesus and forgetting about the dangerous side. The truth is, when we say we want to be more like him, it is easier to be meek, mild, safe, and comfortable. It is much more difficult to opt into a life of boldness, abandonment, and adventure.
Thanks to the race, my comforts have been stripped and feelings of normalcy wrecked. I now understand that getting my degree, having a job, working out, leading a small group, and going to church are all things I did before the race. They don’t make me who I am. Who I am is a Christ follower who is ready to begin modeling my life after a dangerous Jesus instead of only meek and mild Jesus. I am no longer concerned with climbing the success ladder defined by my culture in hopes of creating a comfortable American Christian life. I am learning to walk in the freedom that comes with following dangerous Jesus and I could not be more terrified and excited for what lies ahead.
xx
Ali
