This month has been all squad month, which means there have been about 60 people living in the same house. If you know me at all then you know I am not about that life. It is loud, crowded and uncomfortable. If you find a place to yourself, you won’t be alone for long. If you want quiet then you better have brought ear plugs. If you are as much of an introvert as I am then you will find any reason to go to your room or get out of the house. I was starting to be ok with all squad month, but then I went back home for a week.
Home is my heart. Everything that I love is at home. But that was a weird period of time as well. It felt temporary. I couldn’t settle back into my life at home because I was going to leave it again soon. There was a battle between being glad I was home for my Grandaddy’s funeral and wishing I had been there before to see him one last time. It was a time to be filled with all my favorite things just to say goodbye to them a second time. But it was the best time. It was so good that it made me question whether or not I wanted to come back. But I did come back.
Now I have had to readjust to everything all over again. I missed the first week of ministry with my team, so it was hard to come back and jump into things they had already started. It didn’t feel like my place to contribute to what they had already started. I had to be ok with constantly being surrounded by a crowd again. I had to be ok with finding peace in the midst of noise.
To be honest, it has been hard to find the good in this month. But don’t get me wrong, there has been. I was able to feel the love that my team has for me and accept their support in the most difficult time I have had on the race so far. God provided a way for me to go home, and I was able to be refilled with the presence of my family and friends. My team finished some great projects that our ministry hosts have been dreaming of having for a long time. We have been blessed this month with some wonderful ministry hosts that have taken such good care of us. It has been a month for me to press into the Lord when I have felt uncomfortable or out of place. I have had to remember that he is still pursuing me even when I don’t feel it and know that He is still good in times that are tough.
It’s been hard to not wish this month away, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t ready for the next one. I’m ready for a fresh start and for God and me to continue what He started. There isn’t really a “normal” on the World Race, but I’m ready to get back to the “world race normal”.
Next month my team and I will be in Cajamarca, Peru. It is in the northern part of Peru, possibly in the mountains.We don’t know too much about our next ministry, other than we will be working with a church and possibly preaching and evangelizing. The team will be living in the pastor’s guest house.
We all have a good feeling about what Peru will bring, especially me. Last month in Colombia, a teammate of mine received a word from God that Ecuador would bring tears, but Peru will bring joy. I’m holding tight to the word of the Lord, and I’m eagerly awaiting what He has for us in this next place.
Don’t let this blog discourage you. I knew that the World Race wouldn’t be easy, and I knew that there would be highs and lows. This just happens to be a low, but I am confident in what God is doing in the midst of it. I’m remembering that God is good even in the times that aren’t.
