In Spanish, the word for extraño has two meanings.
The first being weird, and the second being to miss.
And that’s just it. I’m going to miss the weird. It’s what I know now.
Like the time I got zebra underwear as a random present in Bolivia because that’s all Duvesa had to offer me, and she wanted to give me a gift. I’ll miss riding on the top of the bus in Nepal while we drive back up the mountain to the Yak Ranch. And I’ll miss how normal everything in that sentence just sounded. Sharing a bedroom with 6 girls and not fighting because we’ve learned healthy communication. Or not showering for days on end because, well we just didn’t. And, well, bucket showers aren’t exactly comforting.
I don’t want to forget these sweet moments. The ones that have become puzzle pieces of my life now.
I’ll never forget my favorite puppy Milo and his family in India. Visiting their home and talking about Jesus together as we look at their wedding photos. Riding in tuk tuks and thinking, we might die but it’s okay. Becoming friends with Thu and riding on her moto through the lantern city. Drinking actual bubble tea in Nam and being on cloud 9. Being picked up by Bout La’s party tuk tuk at 5:30AM just to go love on street children all day long in Cambodia. Eating noodles and fried rice for breakfast and loving it.
These things, these people have become a part of me.
Learning how to make bush tea with Khumo in Botswana, and walking her home from work just to giggle with her babies. Making up dance moves with Brutus at church. Watching the way people worship in Africa, and wanting a spirit just like theirs. Alive and beautiful and full of God. Walking to Frola’s just to see her stunning smile. How she somehow felt like family. “I wait for you everyday” she’d say, “I always know you’ll come.” And watching the sunset as Taylor and I stroll on home from her house.
This has been my life.
Visiting the homeless and the prisoners, just to tell them about our Savior in Argentina. Making homemade empanads with my Abuela Bernarda who felt like a long lost friend. Sitting with her in the kitchen late into the night speaking spanish and laughing together. Hiking 64 miles into the amazon, sleeping in my tent, and being covered in sand fly bites. Gathering fire wood with Nelsie and chasing little Nellida just to cover her in kisses. Eating Celia’s muy rico comida and looking forward to seeing her smile everyday, knowing her little Matius will be strapped to her back, adorable as ever.
I’ve come accustomed to a new family.
A family of 54 people. Talk about cousins. The difference is, we don’t have blood in common, we have Jesus in common. We’re all those crazy Christians who decided that traveling to 11 countries sounded like a good idea. We’ve shared things with each other we’ve never shared with anyone. We’ve experienced new cultures together and bungee jumped off the world’s highest bridge. We’ve worshipped and prayed and talked about the hard things of life, the hard things in each other. And these people have captured my heart in ways I cannot tell you. They mean something to me now, something important. They’re family.
New friends that are irreplaceable. New friends that now feel like old friends.
The people that just got me from the beginning. I’ll miss Taylor becoming my best friend when we had nothing in common. Always being my partner in crime and up for anything. Scuba diving and napping it off the rest of the day, painting together and learning we really can do anything in life we want.
I’ll miss Steph being like a soul sister from the very beginning, learning about life together, crocheting and singing our hearts out. Blair Grace feeling like a home away from home and always being my person when I needed one. Tori going for runs with me and constantly laughing in her presence. Fitness marshall with Lis, deep conversations with Skatey and Kate, and learning about honesty and the ability to just be your crazy self with Lain. Loving my very first team in ways I never imagined that I could, and feeling like they’re my sisters when I see them now. Not knowing my heart could love people the way I love Meek and Mighty.
I never knew my heart could be in so many places.
I now have family and memories and people I call my own around the world.
And as much as I’ve missed my home in America, I’m going to miss this home. The familiarity of creating new friendships and connecting to new hearts every month. Having experiences of a lifetime, with people I’ve grown to love deeply. Chasing after Jesus like He’s the only thing that matters. Growing and learning and experiencing all that life has to offer.
I never knew my heart could be in so many places.
And now it is.
