A lot of awesome stuff has happened since my last post. I graduated from UT, I traveled as a nanny to New Zealand, I got 3 part time jobs. I have time to focus on the race. But..
There’s no easy way to put this… but I’ve been doubting this trip heavily. Not only do I have very little support from the people around me, but I’m not this perfect Christian that follows all the rules. Am I Christian enough for this trip? I mean, I’ve:
-lied (white lies and big ones too)
-cheated (grade school, fitness, my algebra final in college)
-stolen (a magazine from a newsstand as a kid, candy, even a rack of ribs I forgot to pay for at the bottom of my basket)
-I even punched my sister in the stomach one time
Not to mention all the times I:
-looked the other way someone was hurt, bullied, didn’t help the homeless, stayed in when a friend needed me, broke someone’s heart.
How can God love me, even with all of these flaws? And more than that, how can I go around the world doing all these things I’ve put off, sharing this love that I so graciously get but don’t deserve?
In the words of my wonderful priest Beth, “Why are you so privileged to hear and accept God’s love? What makes you more special than the rest of the world that doesn’t have that same opportunity?”
The truth is- nothing. I’ve done so much wrong (a lot of right too I hope), but God still loves and accepts me for who I am. He’s called me to share that love with the world. Not just with the God-fearing people in Austin, Tx, but the prostitutes who can’t find a way out, the sick who need hope, the orphans who need their Father, and the forgotten who need a reminder that no matter what happens in life or what choices they make, their Father in Heaven will love them regardless.
I’m not going to judge and condemn the world, to point out their flaws. There’s enough of that to go around a millionfold. I’m going because if God can love me, surely He can love anyone- they just need to be shown.
