So this weekend I jumped off of a bridge. Maybe I should preface this. I went to the Last Resort to experience the worlds highest canyon swing. It’s a seven second free fall before it catches you and you start swinging. Utterly terrifying. So why’d I jump off the bridge?
Recently I’d been just repeatedly hitting a wall with Jesus. I couldn’t seem to make contact or progress in what I was doing. Something was in the way. I realized I’d been very closed handed. As in I’d sunken back into my safety zone surrounded by all the no’s I use to protect myself from things I’m afraid of. I’d run into more things I didn’t want to surrender.
Sometimes I have to re surrender myself to Him multiple times a day, in small ways. I say it to Him, then I step out and do what He’s called me to. It could be something as small at talking to someone I don’t want to. This time it was bigger.
I had a lot of fears and insecurities I didn’t want to let go of, a mountain of them really. That was a problem. My Papa reminded me that I need not be afraid of the things I was; He told me to be courageous. He reminded me that He’d given me a spirit not if timidity, but of love, power, and discipline. Like many times before He asked me to surrender my junk to Him. So I decided to.
The outward sign of obedience had to be bigger this time, which led to the bridge. I feel pretty fearless now.
