I’ve tried to approach the World Race honestly, questioning myself and pushing myself to really evaluate what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. And in doing so, I’ve put a lot of thought into what could hold me back, knowing that if something has the potential to keep me here, I can rest assured it will be used against me.
If you have been keeping up with my blog, you've probably read “Burn the Ships” and you’re thinking, “Didn’t you already go over this?” Well, yes and no.
I have thought about what things have the potential to keep me here. I’ve considered family, friends, comforts, my church, my plans, and my weaknesses. I’ve thought about what I’ll have to sacrifice and what new challenges I will be encountering. And I’ve come to the conclusion that none of these things will keep me from going on the race. I’ve been called. I’m going.
And I think I’ve had a confidence in the fact that I wouldn’t trade this opportunity for anything. I’ve seen others pull out for different reasons, and every time I have thought “There is no way I could ever pull out of this. This is happening.”
But now that I’m approaching training camp, I’m seeing a little more of the battle I will be facing. And it isn’t just about leaving. When my plane takes off in July, my battle will be about what I’m holding onto while I’m gone.
I’ve been careful about how I approach the race thus far because I haven’t wanted to live the race before I’m on the race. But the opposite is true too. I don’t want my mind to be at home while I’m on the race. I want to be fully engaged, living my life on purpose- – whether that’s in Ireland, Tanzania, India, or home.
I don’t want to miss a single opportunity. I want to fully embrace what God is about to do. But I can’t do that if I still have a hand held tight in America. To get the most out of the World Race and to make the most impact possible will take full surrender.
And I already feel like there are things I’m struggling to surrender. Things that I’ve accepted I have to give up, but that I still feel very connected to. And if I'm honest, things I'm still holding onto tightly.
And my fear is that if I don’t surrender, I will lose so much of what has been poured into this race. And there have been so many people that have poured prayer, support, and encouragement into my race. I don’t want to lose any of that because I’m longing for anything here.
As you continue to pray for me, please pray for the strength to really surrender everything. I want to live the race with everything in me, not just the part of me I’m willing to give up for 11 months. Because the truth is, when real surrender happens, I step into the best life ever. And nothing is impossible when you're living the best life ever.
