Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19
Currently I am on a team with seven others, each of whom have good stories and deep thoughts worth hearing. When I don’t get a chance to share my stories or thoughts I become frustrated. I feel as though nobody wants to hear what I have to say. It makes me not want to listen to what they have to say.
I started thinking about how I was feeling and why I was reacting that way. If I am waiting for my chance to speak, am I really hearing what others are saying. Am I being quick to listen? Clearly I am not being slow to anger. My teammates stories, no matter how interesting, began to sound bland because they weren’t my stories. As I came to terms with how selfish these thoughts were I started to realize what I was doing. I was seeking attention, approval and applause from my team more than I was seeking God’s attention. I was not listening to God, I was not patient enough to sit and hear him and this was effecting the condition of my heart.
Shortly after my realization, I took two hours to be alone with God. I read my bible, told Him about my frustrations and listened to what he was speaking to my heart. I thought about my relationship with God. The one I was created to have. Where God speaks and listens and I speak and listen. Where I obey and he responds.
It became clear that being quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger will come naturally when I allow myself to be heard by God and when I am able hear God. When I try to make my friendships to meet my desire to be heard, I become quick to speak and quick to become angry.
I want to be known and understood. I want to be confident in the person I am. I want to be able to love others unconditionally, without an agenda in expecting them to love me back. As I mature more into the woman I was designed to be, I am accepting and understanding that if my relationship with God is not of the utmost importance to me, I will not be experiencing life to the fullest.
I could try and love others unconditionally, on my own but without God filling me first with his love I will always be looking for love from others.The more I give of myself, the more God renews me and gives of himself.
I firmly believe that God sent Jesus Christ to earth to live as a sacrifice so that we could be in a right relationship with God and experience him. As I challenge myself to not only pray to God more but listen as well, I encourage you to do the same. If our needs are met by our creator, how much more natural will it be to love others?
