This is part 1 of 3 of an incredible work the Lord has done in my heart during my first week in Ireland.
There I was sitting on my knees at the Will Reagan and The United Pursuit concert in Belfast, Ireland. It soon became apparent that there was a lie I had believed for a long that was preventing me from deepening my relationship with him. Recently this lie began manifesting itself through relationships with those on my squad. I believed I had to rely on the strength of my mind to change my own heart and the heart of my friends. I tried and tried to let go of the issue pressing into my mind and consuming my thoughts. It seemed the more I tried to release my problem the bigger it grew.
The lyrics of the song being sung were “Lay it all down at the feet of Jesus.” After about the tenth time I heard the lyric I knew I wasn’t getting anywhere. No matter how hard I sang or prayed, I lay this down at your feet the issue consumed my mind. My friend kept popping in my head and I kept replaying what I could say to fix my relationship with her. Before getting frustrated, which is normally what would happen, I said out loud in a whisper I need help. Lord send somebody to help me. I looked around and saw my teammates worshiping the Lord, experiencing him in their own way and I didn’t want to interrupt them. I closed my eyes again and remembered that a body of believers makes up the body of Christ. I stood up and looked around again in hopes to make eye contact with somebody for prayer.
I turned around to my left and saw Poppy, my squad leader, and her shinning smile and humble eyes. Poppy would be the one whom the Lord chose in advance to bless me that night. I walked over to her and asked if she would pray for me. I explained there was a block in my mind that had become a bigger issue than I had realized and that I couldn’t let go of it on my own.
Poppy gently embraced me and began speaking truth into my ear. As she asked God to help my lay down my burden and praised Him for being good, my mind slowly began to move towards peace. However, I was still holding onto something that I was not meant to hold onto.
Then God started to show up in a miraculous way that brought revelation to my heart and brought a joy upon me that is not explainable with words. Poppy asked me to picture my burden, my issue and hold it out. I lifted my hands up and listened for what I was to do next. Poppy said “I want you to pick up what you are picturing and throw it away, literarily.” I stood there, head bowed and hands out, wanting to throw my frustrations and pride and inability to change as far as I could but something wasn’t clicking. Poppy continued to pray and said “All you have to do is let go and God will move it from the east to the west.”
The next thing I knew my outstretched hands became so tense. It was as though a metal box 1 foot high by 2 feet long by 1 foot wide was placed in my arms. I braced myself for the weight and held it up as long as I could. I had never felt anything like it before. Every muscle in my body was flexed, doing the best it could to hold up the weight that kept getting heavier and heavier. I fell into Poppy who caught me before I fell to the ground, still holding onto the weight. As Poppy embraced me again, she continued praying and I knelt to the ground. I felt the weight be taken away. Her prayers continued and my muscles kept tensing up as if the weight were trying to come back. One last prayer from Poppy for a complete release from the burden I was carrying and I was free.
