About a week ago I asked my father if he would be interested in writing a guest blog. I told him it could be about anything he wanted and up until a few minutes ago I had no idea what his letter would contain. If I were being completely honest, I needed him to write a blog because I was in a place of standstill. I had been wrestling with God for so long and wasn’t sure if I could go on any longer. I am at a place of brokenness. I have been learning to die to myself for the last 5 months and it’s been incredibly difficult. My body is sick, my mind is not at ease, and wrestling with God and begging him to bless me has proved to be tiresome. Now earlier this morning I opened my very last letter from home only to find the kind words of my father and a piece of my horse’s mane that my father had cut and put into the letter to encourage and strengthen me when I needed it the most on the race. And it was at that point that I wept. How far away did that little girl seem now. The girl who loved horses and books and stories. How far away was I from the girl who loved the Lord and who loved genuine relationship with him. All this time I had been trying to learn how to die to myself and found myself dying to who God created me to be. I guess that letter from home and hand written blog from my father were gentle reminders of who I am in Christ, what God has called me to, and to God’s faithful character. So without further ado here is my father’s blog I hope it encourages and inspires you like it did for me.
The safest place is in the center of God’s will.
These are the words that finally gave me the assurance to let my daughter go with my blessing. It’s funny, you raise your kids to be strong, confident and establish in them every skill set they will need to face the world. But at 18 years of age when they tell you they want to travel to far off places, such as Africa, Nepal, India, and Guatemala in the coming 9 months, the father, over his daughter screams, “are you kidding me?” Thus begins a journey in relationship, growth, understanding and ultimately trust.
“Have you not heard your daughter these past few years?” says my wife. “Uh yeah?” I have always known that Alex was destined for a good story and one that was not only read but also lived out. As a little girl it was, “tell me about that story you told me last night.” Then eventually it grew to her ever expanding library of personal favorite books. No need to ask where is Alex, she is buried in a good book taking her to far away places. So you see, it should have come as no surprise that it was time to leave the fine print of books and now it must go be lived. Where did this audacious spirit come from? Did she read the Hobbit” one to many times? Or was there a larger calling upon her that not even her own father could recognize? If there is one thing I did recognize, it was Alex’s determination. As a family we would drive, playing LOUD India music with all its chants, windows rolled down in the middle of winter. We could talk about “squatty-Potties”, discuss long bus rides in the Africa desert and yet… a still and quiet resolve remained: A calling, Something inward and bigger than herself. One that me, as her father, had to recognize and admire. It ultimately came down to this simple question? Deny her my blessing for my selfish concerns or recognize that I am only her earthly father and our heavenly Father had called Alex for something bigger than the the both of us. And in the moment ,God spoke to me- “Trust Me! The safest place for Alex is in the center of My will.” You see I needed to trust her; I needed to trust God.
So here I sit 5 months later with her inviting me to write a guest blog. She has seen the plains of Africa and its people, elephants and rhinos and that God does bless the rains in Africa and that its not just a Toto song. She has spent cold nights in Nepal but was rewarded by a village elder dancing to his people. She has been able to behold some of the highest mountains of God’s creation and climbing them to the point of near exhaustion. She spent her birthday with new friends with a different appreciation of coffee and french toast. She understands Christmas in a whole new way as she witnessed the darkness of this world and exactly knows why Christ chose to be born among men; to bring hope and salvation. That, in every addiction, is a man crying out for help no matter how they look on the outside. With each experience she took me beside her across the distant seas. I am forever grateful, as I know the people she has encountered are as well.
A Journey? A Calling? Whatever you might want to label it I might add Obedience. Alex has 4 more months to go. Has it been easy on her..no way! Have there been rewards..you better believe it. But around each Continent a story is yet to be told and one that must be lived. I look forward to the day when I can say to her that you have done something honorable “You followed through! And no one can take that away.” The question was once asked “How do I be brave?” In response “You see bravery isn’t something we are born with-you acquire it over time as you gain life experiences.” As the quote from Braveheart goes “Every man dies but not every man really lives.” You might say that she has taught me a little about being brave and living. And yes..Being at the center of God’s will is truly the safest place to be.
