I woke up with this word on my heart Monday morning. The past couple months have been some of the hardest on the Race. I’ve fallen into complacency, I’ve wondered why in the heck I’m here, if I’m useful and I’ve battled my anxiety in ways I hadn’t before. When I see the first two months of being on the field i see all the trials and healing then too. I look at the sweetness, the cultures, the house visits & intentionality, the miracles and the relationships.
The Lord keeps bringing me to the Israelites. They were led out of slavery in Egypt and into the wilderness, they were set free! But instead of seeing the broken chains, they saw starvation and the heat. They saw God as a God who cursed them with this horribleh fate that was the desert…how many times do we do that? God breaks the chains that we bind ourself in, He sets us free to be royalty and instead of seeing the glory we see trials as curses. God is not a Father that finds pleasure in cursing his kids, He’s a good Father that wants to see his kids be the best they can be & sometimes that means leading them into the wilderness. In the wilderness is where growth happens, where identity is formed & chosen. Look at Luke 4, Jesus is led into the wilderness by the Holy Spirit and Satan immediately attacks Jesus’ sonship that God just affirmed in Him. In the wilderness, we can choose to give into the enemy, we can give up and be bound back into slavery, or we can painfully choose endurance for the sake of who God is calling us to be.
If there is anything I’ve learned, it’s that enduring the tough parts of the wilderness not only has changed me more than I ever thought, but they’ve made me appreciate the sweet moments more too. The wilderness has brought me deeper intimacy with my Father, has made me realize who I am and what my purpose is, and has given me space away from the States to figure out what I really want out of my life with Jesus.
The wilderness can be dark and scary, sweaty and painful but GOODNESS does God use it for GOOD!
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Traveling to Africa starting today! (Currently in Bangkok with a 12 hour layover hello) I’m super pumped for Africa, and to be living with my whole squad again. Three months in one place is really sweet, so I’m also excited to feel somewhat settled again too. Thank you all for all of your prayers and love on my last blog, see you all in 3 months!!
