“And I thought about what God must see when he looks at us. Like I saw my ten year old becoming thirty five I imagine he sees what we’ll all become too if we start rsvping yes to his invitations and go after those things he’s made us to love. It’s not all planned out for us either, and that’s where most people get too nervous to take the next step. But know this: when Jesus invites us on an adventure he shapes who we become with what happens along the way.” -Bob Goff, taken from “Love Does.”
When I came on the world race I knew I wanted to be a full time missionary because on the field was where I felt like my life held purpose. Every time I went on a mission trip I felt so alive because the fire I had for the Lord was relit; I always returned home on this amazing spiritual high. The world race was something I had longed to do for years and the Lord finally brought it to fruition. Before launching I knew what I wanted to get out of the next 9 months- I wanted more intimacy than ever before with the Lord, I wanted to tell the nations about who He was, but even more than that, I truly wanted the Lord to show me what He had made me passionate about so that I could make a greater impact in his kingdom.
I go home about 2 weeks from now and I look back at what the Lord has done these last 9 months. He has reshaped my identity in Him. I have found freedom from needing affirmation from my peers. The Lord showed me that he died for the ugly, messed up parts of me, and not for the put together and seemingly perfect version of myself. The Lord showed me that I am forgiven and if I can’t give grace to myself then I’m actually not giving all the value to the cross. He told me to quit worrying so much and simply believe that you are mine, you are my daughter and I love you. He showed me that I am no longer a servant, but His friend. He has wrecked my heart for the broken and hurting. He has given me a love for mothers who feel like they have no purpose. He has redeemed the hurts in my heart from family and past. He has shown me what is healthy for me and what is damaging.
I am now in this place where I recognize that the Lord has radically transformed my life in the last 9 months and soon I’ll be in another season of my life. Family, friends, supporters, and instagram followers want to know what’s next for my life. She’s done this huge thing and now where is she going?
As I look on social media, I see my friends and people I knew walking into their senior year in college, getting jobs, getting married, and having kids (WHAT??)…
I keep asking the Lord, well what am I doing?
And he keeps holding my face between his hands and smiling at me because the truth is only He knows what He has for me. Only He knows what I’m becoming and where I’m going. He’s got it covered and I’m just along for the ride with him. He answered my prayers- He’s given me more intimacy than I could’ve ever imagined. He’s allowed me to share the gospel with the nations. He’s shown me the things that make my heart break and the things that I’m truly passionate about. He has done this beautiful thing and what’s so amazing is that I am on the sunrise of my life. He has done this beautiful thing and now I have my entire life to live it with him.
So I ask the Lord again, what am I doing next?
The Father asks me, “What have I made you passionate about and what has set your heart on fire? Okay, now let’s go after those things together. You can keep planning all day or we can just go after these things together, experience them together.”
To quote Bob Goff, “The kind of adventure Jesus has invited us on doesn’t require an application or prerequisites. It’s just about deciding to take up the offer made by a father who wants us to come.”
The entire time I have been in Zambia the Lord has been speaking about the next place I’m going- the land I’m going is a land the Lord cares for and has his eyes on. This season he has carried me and taught me what it looks like to rest in him and not worry about what is next. He gives good gifts to his children and the possibilities are endless with Jesus. He told us that we would do even greater things than Him. He said he would use us if we said yes.
I dreamed about going on the world race for years and the Lord brought it to fruition. I now dream about serving in the inner city with the homeless and mothers who feel trapped by the drugs they have abused. I dream about moving in with my dad again and allowing the Lord to rebuild what the enemy thought he could take away. I dream about living a life that is interruptible and giving my time to whoever the Lord says needs it. I dream about pursuing things he’s made me passionate about but I have always made excuses to why it couldn’t happen. I want to live a life of love and joy and commitment. I want to be fully engaged in every moment and not always planning what’s next. I want to simply go for things like I did that night the Lord said do this world race thing now. Bob Goff’s book, “Love Does,” impacted me greatly, and he made one final statement that I think a lot of us need to begin living by. It goes like this, “In the end, love doesn’t just keep thinking about it or planning for it. Simply put: love does.”
So I’m encouraging you today that the Lord knows where we’re going and how he wants to use us. It’s up to us to be apart of what he’s doing. We simply need to say yes and quit making excuses of why the thing we’ve dreamed about just doesn’t seem to happen. We need to quit saying someone else will pour into that person at work. We need to quit letting our lives pass us by. We may not know the next definite step, but why not trust the Lord in what he’s speaking and go for it.
