Many of you know the story but here is a recap:
I felt the call to missions 4 years ago when I went on my first out of the country mission trip to Jamaica. Sitting on the porch and listening to the Lord, I knew that was the only place I could ever imagine myself. I have known of the World Race for over 2 years now, and have wanted to experience something like this and walk in what God has for me, but I never knew it would be sooner rather than later. I had my life planned out: pursue something in the medical field, and once I was old enough, do the world race- an 11-month mission trip to 11 countries. Gap Year never really interested me because it was only 3 countries, and now looking back I realize I just had “the traveler’s mindset.” After having everything set up to attend Ole Miss for this fall, God spoke to me through His word at a Thrive Night this summer. Our pastor was preaching on the story of the blind man begging for mercy to Jesus. Jesus asked him, “What is it that you want me to do for you?” The man replied, “I want my sight!” Jesus knew what the man desired, but wanted him to verbalize it. I heard God say, “What do you want me to do for you? What do you want in this life?” All I could think was, “I just want to walk in what you have for me. I just want to be used by you. Whatever that looks like, I just want to be in line with you.” So I spoke aloud those words, and Gap Year came to mind.
I spent the next two weeks praying over it, and I decided to just go for it and apply. I got accepted about a week and a half before training camp and was told I had to have the first deadline of $5000 to be able to go to training. I immediately sent out support letters, and hoped for the best. The Sunday before training camp I had received NO SUPPORT, and was encouraged to start a social media campaign. Every hour for 48 hours I posted what God had put on my heart to do, and I prayed and fasted that the Lord would make a way. The feedback I received from people varied- some were encouraging and some were hard to hear. At one point I thought, “What am I doing… I’m trying to make this happen out of my own strength…I’m wasting everyone’s time… there’s no way this can happen…”. AND THEN IT DID. At midnight I had received $5095 toward my first deadline, and I quickly packed and drove to Atlanta the next day.
Now here I am 12 days later from literally seeing a MOVE OF GOD happen over social media, to now attempting to process everything He showed me at training camp. I cannot even begin to explain what the Lord did in me during the past 10 days. It almost feels surreal. Everything I thought I knew about who God is to who I am was wrecked. The Father showed me His Relentless Pursuit for me, and how I literally cannot do this on my own, but when I give up complete control He will then begin to use me. I realized that I do not have to be like everyone else- that He actually made me different on Purpose, and loves me in a Unique way that he doesn’t love anyone else. I am in awe of the Goodness of the Lord. He has showed me just since being home these last two days that He doesn’t call the ALREADY EQUIPPED, but he equips me for whatever He wants to do through me. I am learning what listening prayer is; I’m discovering what it means to live “on mission.” I’m learning what it means to live a life of abandonment, and what it really means to give up everything and leave everyone to follow Jesus. So much fear and anxiety has tried to creep in… Will I be able to raise the remaining $8000, will I have money to pay off my bills and have spending money for the race, will I be able to get everything taken care of before the 6 weeks is up, will people continue to give even though they have given so much? Question after question fill my mind, and the Lord keeps reminding me- “Be still, and quiet your soul before me.” “Let me cover you with my peace, and just trust me.”
My mom and I were talking and she showed me her plants on the front porch. They were so beautiful and lush before I left, and after pressure washing the roof this past week they now were broken and frail and sure enough dead. We both laid our hands on them and began to pray for healing and life. This morning she takes me outside and both plants have fresh, green buds. The joy was uncontainable, and we prayed again just thanking the Lord, and He showed me how He can take the seemingly dead things, and bring them back to LIFE. He can bring life to our families, our dreams, our finances, etc. He can replace my fear and anxiety with His breath of life. His very blood flows through our veins, and it’s time we start living like it. I’ve decided this life is worth taking risks, and stepping out even when the world is against you. Our Father wants to see His people step into the purposes and plans He has for us- He wants to see Kingdom Come where we are, in our circles. There is so much uncertainty, but why not take the Leap and see what the Lord wants to do.
