I’m a skeptic when it comes to the more supernatural aspects of my faith, aka healing and other spiritual gifts. My brain works from the logical and rational; I function under the pretense of practical. That’s how my relationship with God has always functioned….which limits the relationship itself.
Isaiah 55:8-9 says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Our God is unfathomable, and He will never fit in my small comfortable box, yet I continue trying to squish Him in there just so I don’t have to squirm with all the things in this world that I can’t understand or explain; the things in this life that I can only experience in, through, and by faith.
I went to training camp with the intention and hope of beginning the process of breaking down those walls that make up my spiritual box….and let me just leak out the results right now. IT HAPPENED.
[Stage]: Midweek at Training Camp, Evening Worship Session
[Act 1, Scene 1]
There we were at the evening worship session, the squads and leaders gathered together in fellowship. It was a time of prayer, of song, of intimacy with each other and with our Lord.
As we began to be led in praise by the worship team, one of the main speakers opened in prayer, inviting the Holy Spirit to dwell in this place, to reveal Himself to our mind, heart, and soul, to baptize us in His Power. I lifted up this prayer as well in my own heart, even as I held skepticism in the back of my mind of how, or even if the Holy Spirit would show Himself to me that night… That happened to other people, not me, right??
[Act 1, Scene 2]
So there I was, with my eyes closed, my hands held up high in abandon, my body swaying to my own beat, and my voice lifted up to Heaven (also not my usual worship stance, but at training camp I learned to let loose a little bit and worship the way that was comfortable for me in my connection to God)… and then a dove fluttered across my vision; it was there in a flash of an image, and then gone. I thought to myself, “That was weird, why would I imagine a dove right now?” and I shrugged it off and continued singing.
[Act 2, Scene 1]
As the song ended, the speaker spoke again and shared with all of us how each of our relationships with the Holy Spirit were unique; in some of us the Holy Ghost may manifest in a large and supernatural way, it may affect us physically, but for others He may come quietly, landing on us softly, gently, in the form of a dove. (HOLD UP!!) … (internal dialogue) “Did that man just say what I think he said? ….Surely it’s an odd coincidence. I just saw a dove while I was worshiping and then he mentioned how sometimes the Holy Spirit shows up in quiet way, in the form of a dove. Hmm…but yeah, it’s merely a coincidence.” And I shrugged it off and continued to worship God, dissolving into my own world, without distractions. Just me, a princess, a daughter of God dancing with her father the King.
[Act 2, Scene 2]
That’s when it happened. The dove returned, this time landing on my shoulder. SERIOUSLY!?! …(internal dialogue directed toward the dove)”You must be the Holy Spirit…. I have a wild imagination, but all of this, I can’t just make up.” The dove lifted one wing and caressed my cheek. Softly, gently, with its light feathers, just once. (while all this was happening, I continued to stand with my eyes closed, singing, and at the same time I was experiencing something all together new in my vision and in my spirit)… Then I heard the voice of God, “It’s alright daughter..I’m taking my time with you.“My body was flooded with a sense of peace and my heart was bathed in joy.
[Act 2, Scene 3]
As I continued to worship, communing with God, I began the process of accepting what had just happened; that the Holy Spirit dwells in me, has revealed Himself to me, and that His miraculous power is working in and through me, (and just FYI, still processing).
[Closing Scene]
God is good, and He is moving in my life. In ways that I wouldn’t except or normally accept. But God is God, so who am I to say that He has to do things my way or in a way that makes sense in my limited understanding??
The Holy Spirit lives in me and our relationship is unique. My relationship is not going to, nor does it have to look like anyone else’s. I don’t have to compare my spirituosity (yeah I just made up a word, deal with it 🙂 with anyone else’s walk of faith. God knows exactly what I need. God knows that I need some tender loving care, to take baby steps as He stretches me in my faith and my knowledge of my Creator. And my Saviour is doing exactly that: God is taking His sweet time with me, taking Himself out of the box I had placed Him in, and opening my eyes to see God and my relationship with Him in a whole new way.
God is supernatural, and that’s that. 🙂
