What if the people of this world all stopped faking it and starting getting real with one another? My guess is that it would be a mess. Thus starts my story about training camp…
Incredible things happened at training camp this past week. Firstly as a side note, I was basically raised Baptist. And if you know anything about the Baptist denomination, we focus a lot on Jesus but totally ignore the Spirit. Well, this week I had a heads on collision with the Holy Spirit. I learned about prophecy and praying deeply for one another in the Spirit. It was crazy awesome. One night my squad and I prayed for two of our teammates for an entire hour! And let me tell you something, it wasn’t sissy prayers but powerful, bold prayers. I was overwhelmed with the Lord’s presence.
Many of our sessions were focused on healing and forgiveness in our own lives, so that we can be spiritually and emotionally ready for the nations. I prayed a lot. I feel like Jesus has already done so much healing in my life already, so I guess I didn’t think it totally applied to me. I watched as the Lord broke so many of my squad mates to point of messy tears and falling to their knees. However, that was never me. I prayed for them, but I never actually cried myself…. Until team formations that was….
My squad is made up of 52 incredible people. During the week of training camp, squad leaders and trainers observe us and get to know us. We go through a long process of team building exercises, so that they can put together 8 teams of 6-7 people each. Each team goes to different ministry sites in each country, so what team you are on is a huge deal. You will be living and doing life with these 6-7 people most of the month. You only really get to see the other 46 people on our squad once a month. Well, I thought I would try and retain an open mind about who was on my team. However, I had one stipulation. I really wanted to be on a co-ed team instead of an all-girls team for safety reasons and what not.
You can probably guess what happened. Yep, yep, God put me on an all-girls team. And man, if I thought I was being spiritual and loving the beginning of the week, I was the exact opposite the last 48 hours of training camp. I was pissed (for lack of a better term). I was angry, annoyed, hurt, mean, rude, and so much more. I felt betrayed by the trainers for not hearing me and putting me where I wanted to go.
Well, I decided I needed some peace as to why they did not put me on a co-ed team, so I asked my squad leader what the reasons were. She basically told me she didn’t have one for me and was glad she didn’t so I couldn’t make it a scapegoat. She told me I had a ton of insecurities and heart issues that the Lord needed to work on in my life. This all-girl team was the one the Lord had for me to do just that…. Let me tell you something, if I wasn’t that angry before that meeting, I was 10000 times angrier after that. I was angry at the leaders, trainers, and God especially. Did He never let me get anything I ever wanted?! I felt like I had been let down by God so many times in my life, and this was the icing on top of the spiritual cake….
To be continued….
