I’m sure that you’ve all realized how surface level my last few blogs have been. For starters, I don’t do feelings and most of you already know that. Secondly, I don’t know that I can even verbalize where my heart is right now. But I feel like I owe it to each of you to express my thoughts.
In a weird sense my heart is broken. The last few weeks in Serbia broke me mentally and emotionally.
Emotionally, I have been numb since before I left for the World Race. I have wanted this for so long and I don’t think I knew how to navigate through it once I got it. A part of me felt guilty for walking away from loved ones and the other part of me was questioning why God called me to this particular journey. This last month has opened my eyes to so many things, good and bad.
My time in Sombor was absolutely incredible. I met some of the sweetest people and I got the privilege of serving and loving on each of them. It broke my heart to leave. I know we were only there for a short time but I will never forget the time I spent there. God was very intentional with the people he placed in our path and I loved being able to pour into them.
Lately my heart has been at home in Texas with my family. My dad was in a head on collision and was care flighted to Medical City. He is doing fine now but it was a scary couple of hours feeling helpless and wanting so badly to be there. On top of that both of my brothers have been in Houston helping with rescue from Hurricane Harvey. My heart goes out to everyone in Houston, you are all in my thoughts and prayers. Through out the last few days I have had to constantly remind myself that the Lord has placed me 5,765 miles away for a reason. I have found myself completely dependent on God. I can’t be there to hug my family and tell them that I love them. So here I am in Belgrade, Serbia praying every second for the Lord to surround them and protect them. It breaks my heart to not be there but God continually shows me that he is in control and I choose to have faith in that.
The Lord has challenged me this month. And I can’t say that every moment was sunshine and roses but there has been immense growth and at the end of the day that’s what matters.
