The Process
Can I talk to you?
Can I let you know how I’m feeling?
Can I tell you about the process?
There is a process that many can’t see
There is a process that the Lord has started in me.
It’s not something that I can explain to you in just a few words so sit back and relax this is going to be a bumpy road.
So God has taken this small town girl from Star, Mississippi and sent me way across the world to teach me about life. When you are an only child life surrounds around you and nothing else really matters. You want, what you want, when you want it, and that’s what you get use to. But let me dispel the lie that only children get everything that they want and we’re all spoiled rotten because that’s not true. My parents didn’t give me everything I wanted all my life. They didn’t have the money to spoil me with material things but I was spoiled with attention and love. No one else could take my place, because it was just me besides my cousins. So needless to say most of my life I thought the world revolved around me. But now I’m on the world race and I’m in a community of people where life can’t revolve around me. I have to think of others more than I think of myself and going into the first month it really really really really really really really sucked. We were on our second expedition in the bush and I was being made to eat, and not only that but eat something I didn’t like and I lost it. I completely cried my eyes out because at this point I realized that I was selfish and there was no way that I could finish the race or life just only thinking of what ALEX wants or needs. So I got it together and started thinking about what’s best for my team and actually started doing it. Then the Lord started teaching me when to talk and when to be quite. This was also a hard lesson for me because I’m pretty much a say how you feel kind of girl. I’ve never ever bitten my tongue for any one not even when I was little; at least when I knew I was right. Funny enough I got in trouble a lot for not knowing when to close my trap “in my mama’s words”! So I get on the race and recognize that I can’t say the first thing that comes to my head with everyone, because some people are sensitive and can’t handle the truth in its rawest state. But here’s my problem, I don’t really have a in between its either I talk or I don’t, and lately I find myself not talking more than I talk. Now my team mate Zandra is telling me that the Lord doesn’t want me to be quite and that it’s not health to be quite, but honestly I don’t see what’s wrong with it. Yes of course this means I don’t share my feelings, but I’m okay with that. I would rather not say something and then to say something and people not understand me. I’m so confused and a little annoyed because all I want to do is grow in the Lord and love people, but right now I don’t know what he wants me to do or how he wants me to handle things. The Process for me is starting to become a little difficult and I really just need a word from the Lord. So if you all don’t mind please please please pray for me and tell me what the Lord is telling you to say to me.
The Process
Can I talk to you?
Can I let you know how I’m feeling?
Can I tell you about the process?
There is a process that many can’t see
There is a process that the Lord has started in me.
It’s not something that I can explain to you in just a few words so sit back and relax this is going to be a bumpy road.
So God has taken this small town girl from Star, Mississippi and sent me way across the world to teach me about life. When you are an only child life surrounds around you and nothing else really matters. You want, what you want, when you want it, and that’s what you get use to. But let me dispel the lie that only children get everything that they want and we’re all spoiled rotten because that’s not true. My parents didn’t give me everything I wanted all my life. They didn’t have the money to spoil me with material things but I was spoiled with attention and love. No one else could take my place, because it was just me besides my cousins. So needless to say most of my life I thought the world revolved around me. But now I’m on the world race and I’m in a community of people where life can’t revolve around me. I have to think of others more than I think of myself and going into the first month it really really really really really really really sucked. We were on our second expedition in the bush and I was being made to eat, and not only that but eat something I didn’t like and I lost it. I completely cried my eyes out because at this point I realized that I was selfish and there was no way that I could finish the race or life just only thinking of what ALEX wants or needs. So I got it together and started thinking about what’s best for my team and actually started doing it. Then the Lord started teaching me when to talk and when to be quite. This was also a hard lesson for me because I’m pretty much a say how you feel kind of girl. I’ve never ever bitten my tongue for any one not even when I was little; at least when I knew I was right. Funny enough I got in trouble a lot for not knowing when to close my trap “in my mama’s words”! So I get on the race and recognize that I can’t say the first thing that comes to my head with everyone, because some people are sensitive and can’t handle the truth in its rawest state. But here’s my problem, I don’t really have a in between its either I talk or I don’t, and lately I find myself not talking more than I talk. Now my team mate Zandra is telling me that the Lord doesn’t want me to be quite and that it’s not health to be quite, but honestly I don’t see what’s wrong with it. Yes of course this means I don’t share my feelings, but I’m okay with that. I would rather not say something and then to say something and people not understand me. I’m so confused and a little annoyed because all I want to do is grow in the Lord and love people, but right now I don’t know what he wants me to do or how he wants me to handle things. The Process for me is starting to become a little difficult and I really just need a word from the Lord. So if you all don’t mind please please please pray for me and tell me what the Lord is telling you to say to me.
