So today, blog family, I learned something else about myself that I’m willing to share now. For most of my life I’ve tried to do things to please other people. My family has always placed me on this pedestal above other people to be a role model for others. Which honestly isn’t a bad thing, but as a child that was kind of hard because most of the time I would wonder what others would think of me.
In high school I tried to be perfect because my uncles would say, “Your cousins are watching you, you have to set the example so they’ll do what is right.” I started out in college wanting to be just like my cousins Diana and Andrea, two beautiful women of God that have done great in their lives and I wanted to be just like them. I wanted everyone to know that I was good enough to have a great degree, great job, and an awesome life. My grandmother would always compare me to them and say, “You gotta go to school and be just like them.” To her she just wanted me do great, but to me it was more pressure.
I always thought that everyone had favorites and I was trying to live up to them and at the same time set the bar for my other cousins on my other side of the family that are younger than me. I thought I wanted to be a doctor because Andrea was one. I wanted to be an outgoing, people person like Diana that can hold her ground around anyone. I thought I wanted to be a teacher and coach basketball because that was what my daddy had planned to do when he was in school when he first started. I wanted to be a physical therapist because Mama liked it and it seemed easy.
But all those things weren’t my passion. It was simply something to do and I’ve been wasting my time and money because I didn’t ask God what he wanted, but yet I was seeking others approval. It wasn’t until last year when I was talking to my cousin Di and she looked at me and said, “You don’t have to be like me or anyone else, you just do what makes you happy and do it well.” That’s what I needed to hear and she didn’t even know it.
Most of my life I had been trying to fit into a mold and be like everyone else but myself. Now I know that isn’t not about everyone else and what they want, but it’s what God wants for me.
I said all that to ask you question…..If you’re truthful to yourself….Who are you seeking to be like….Is it God or is it man?
Are you allowing people to place you in a mold that God never intended you to be in?
Galatians 2:20 ESV
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me
