For the past few weeks, starting the first full day in South Africa, I have been wearing a head wrap [or “doek” in Afrikaans]. There are a myraid of reasons, which I am processing and pondering, and have here dumped into words for you!
-For the past year, I have HATED my hair. My hair is my favorite quality about myself (I am quite vain about it), and after chopping it off and then deciding to dye it myself (horrible idea by the way), I haven’t felt like myself. My hair is too short, and too red, and just does not feel like *my* hair. During Haiti, I remembered the tradition of wearing head wraps, which some of my friends do for fashion and some do because of their culture. If I wrapped my head, I wouldn’t have to look at my hair or be reminded of how much I absolutely hate the way it looks (I guess I could cut it all off, and leave only the natural growth, but I think I would rather die than have cropped hair). I would be able to think about more important things, rather than sitting there, waiting for my hair to grow. As they say, a watched pot never boils… or in this case, a watched head never grows!
-It has been my lifelong dream to go to Africa, thanks to my aunty Barrie, who has been a dear family friend since I was quite small. She is Somalian, lived for a long time in Kenya, and then married one of my father’s friends and split her time between Kenya and America. The stories and pictures she and her family have shared of Africa have long instilled in me a deep desire to visit/explore/live on this continent (Honestly, the feelings have only grown stronger in my first month here). My aunty wears a head wrap herself, all the time. I have seen her real hair maybe three times in the years of spending the night at her house, cooking meals with her, etc… So in a sense, she is my inspiration.
-And so, I asked God if it would be right for me to wear a head wrap. [A couple of my squadmates wear head coverings (they are Mennonite) and I have discussed with them the reasons why they cover their head, and have since come to understand 1 Cornithians 11:2-16 in a new light.] I asked God if my reasons were good in His eyes, or just self-serving. He urged me that doing this would be beneficial for my ministry role and for my self-image. So, in the Qatar Airport, I bought my first head scarf.
-It is super healthy for my hair! Since it doesn’t matter what my hair looks like, I hardly ever wash it, which is SO NICE… guys, seriously, not washing your hair every day is amazing! Also, no one sees how poofy it gets when I brush it twice a day. The sun isn’t damaging it, which is super. My hair is all soft and covered in those nice natural oils and so warm! Its like wearing a winter hat all day- which is so nice in the autumn-y weather here in Port Elizabeth. And hopefully, this all means that it is growing faster!
-As many African people groups cover their head this way, I figured the best time to experiment would be in a society where head wraps are common. It’s hard to try something new when no one around you can respect or accept the change. But here, I have found both. My teammates don’t treat me like I am doing some strange thing- the first time I stepped out of the bathroom with my wrap on, they didn’t say “Oh my gosh, that looks so cool”, “whoa what is that!”, or “what are you doing?” Calmly and individually, they said “hey that looks good” or “I like when you wrap it that way”. The new people I meet have complimented me, and welcomed me so warmly. A few Xhosa women even have asked to take pictures with me because I am “looking like them”!!
And what freedom I have experienced!
I don’t have to focus on the imperfect way my hair curls, or where it falls on my back, or how it clashes with all my clothes. I just swoop it up, and my day can be spent focusing on the homeless people I am preparing a meal for, or the relationships I am building with the Love Story family. I feel empowered to focus on other beautiful, unique parts of myself, and to be present in the ministry God has placed me in this month.
** Just a disclaimer, I am very conscientious and careful not to use my head wrap as a way to appropriate myself into these [African] cultures, pretending that I am one of them. I realize that I don’t have a religious or cultural reason to wear my head wrap, and I would never want to imply that I am somehow special or different for wearing one. But I do love this new part of me, and I will continue wearing one for as long as God tells me it is right.
