Last Wednesday on our day off, it was Carlos’ 13th birthday and we were planning on kidnapping him and throwing him a party at the farm. He was supposed to meet us at Burger King, our internet hookup, at 3:30 and he never showed. Carlos is not the type to not show up, so we figured he didn’t have a way to get to us. Me and two of my squad mates decided to take a cab to Los Pinos and go find Carlos. We walked up the steep incline to the houses and found him at his grandmothers house so excited to see us because we didn’t forget about him. While we were waiting for him to get his stuff together, I saw Luis sitting outside near the boys house. He came up and hugged me but went right back down to the boys house and went inside. That’s really unusual for Luis to not really talk to me, so I knew there was something sketchy going on. Teenage boys can’t hide much from me…I know all the tricks haha. So I walked down to the boys house to see what was going on. As soon as I walked in, I saw Cristo (the oldest brother) standing by the window with a rag of paint thinner to his face. Luis and Nando had the “busted” look on their faces and Cristo broke down and cried when he saw me. Wednesday’s are always our days off, so I guess he thought he was in the clear to get high. I didn’t know what to do because it broke my heart that he started crying when I walked in. I went over and hugged him and told him I loved him; that I wasn’t mad. Then my two squad mates came in to find what was going on. Cristo didn’t put the rag down from his face the entire time we were in there; the tears were silently rolling down his face. We were all clueless on what to do. I didn’t want to leave him high and crying in his 3-wall house, but I also knew he shouldn’t (and wouldn’t want) to come back to the farm with the huge group there. I stepped outside overlooking the breathtaking view of the city and asked God what to do. Nothing. I got nothing and I was pissed. I was mad I couldn’t do something in my power to make the situation better. I was pissed because my squad mates don’t know what it’s like to be high, much less even seen a drug before. I was pissed because I thought we had changed these boys; that they were done getting high on thinner. I was pissed at God because He didn’t tell me what to do. This situation with Cristo helped me realize that my perspective about this month of ministry was all wrong. I wanted to come in and change these boys. How ignorant am I? I can’t do anything and I totally put God in a box of what I believed He can do. I thought we would come in and they would stop doing drugs, go to school, and have a personal relationship with God. In 30 days. Ha. Fast forward a week to yesterday. We set up a meeting with Lillian and the four boys in their house in Los Pinos. I thought it was just going to be some talking about expectations and blah blah blah I didn’t know why we all had to be there. But yesterday’s meeting made me realize why we are here. HOPE. Not change, yet. Change is a gradual process, and I know from experience, done in God’s own time. But, none of this is coming from us, it’s from God. God wants two things: for us to believe in Him and follow Him. The blessings of the house and the food is only the beginning of following God. He gives us responsibility and a relationship with God isn’t easy, but we explained to them that the reward is priceless. The promises and the words exchanged yesterday were so powerful and impacted every single one of us in that room that God brought hope. Not us. What a humbling experience! Tony gave Lillian the option to sell or donate the materials from their house after we tear it down. She wants to donate it to a family that has a house made of tarps. God is totally working in her life, too. A woman who digs for trash for money wants to donate things that she can easily get money for. I can’t believe I ever doubted the power of the Lord in her life. I didn’t bring hope to Los Pinos, and neither did my team. God did. I will not put Him in a box again, because there are huge things happening in the life of this family.
As I walked away, mad, frustrated and on the verge of completely losing it, Cristo let out loud sobs when we walked down the mountain with Carlos to go celebrate his birthday. I was feeling so bitter and sorry for myself, I couldn’t even put on a happy face for Carlos. I didn’t want to sit on the buses for our long trek home or do that stupid 45 minute walk in the dark back to the farm. That night as I was journaling, I was asking myself why I got so mad earlier. Who am I to get mad that this 15 year old was high? He slipped up, but he was convicted. He wants to stop doing drugs and turn his life around…at 15. Alex Wilson at 15 was just starting to jump into my whirlwind of worldy dersires and it took me all of high school and college to even begin to be convicted. What a blessing that Cristo is so young and wants to dedicate his life to God.
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All 13 of us, Tony, Samaya (our friend and translator), Lillian and the boys were all cramped into the house. We told them that we are tearing down their house this Friday and building a new one. Each day they will get a pound of rice and a pound of beans. Lillian is talking about really moving back in with her boys. They are to stop doing thinner…forever. They promised to go to school 4 days a week and work on the farm on weekends. They will continue to go to church together as a family.
Cristo appologized to us for getting high. The only thing hanging on the walls of their house is something Cristo put up of bible verses to memorize and goals for his life: to stop doing drugs and to make something of his life.
