Welcome to Month 5. This is when it gets real. This is when it gets hard. This is when the honeymoon phase is over and you realize that you're actually going to be away from home and comfort for 6 more months. This is when you realize that being with people 24/7 is about as close to hell as we believers will ever be. But this had been my favorite month by far.
Last month was the first month I truly struggled on the race. It all started with team changes. I went from my fun and lighthearted team to a much more challenging team. My worst world race fear had come to fruition; I am now on an all-girls team. Immediately after this change we arrived in India. And after spending three months in Europe this was a huge change. We dove into a super spiritual ministry that overwhelmed me on a daily basis. I struggled constantly to stay present and not let my mind wander. That is when I began to realize that I am constantly waiting on something in the future to make my life better. In high school I kept thinking, if I can just get to college, things will be so much better. Then in college I looked to my semester in Australia. But then I looked forward to getting home. Then it was graduation. Then the world race. Now sometimes it's thinking about another team change or the next month or home or even marriage. I left India vowing that the next month would be better.
Which brings me here to Nepal. In the beginning of the month my attitude of looking ahead continued and I was so unsatisfied with everything. But then our first Sunday in church I was browsing through my bible and stopped in Philippians 4. I read a verse that had never really stood out to me before. "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."Philippians 4:12. As soon as I read that I felt God telling me that this is what he wanted me to learn this month. This is what my life needed. I had to learn to be content where he had me. But of course this is much easier said than done.Then I noticed that my bibles translation of verse 13 was different than I had ever heard before. Everyone quotes "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" whenever they want to sound a little "christiany". But my version doesn't say that. It says "I can do all this through him who strengthens me". That verse that is so often quoted out of context is actually referring to Paul's ability to be content in any situation. And through the strength of Christ I can learn to do that too.
So after marinating in this for awhile, I saw how it really changed my outlook. My team hiked for 4 and a half hours and crossed a river 14 times with our packs to get to our ministry site for the month. We had no electricity or running water. We did manual labor every day. We had much smaller portions and poorer quality of food than we were used to. And I absolutely loved it. I don't think I've been so happy about a month so far on the race.
Then I started thinking about how I could apply this to my team. We had been struggling to be together at this point. I struggled everyday with the fact that I was on a team with just women. One Saturday night we had a very difficult feedback session about the state of our team. We ended by resolving to take the next day to pray and think about what could be done to improve ourselves and the group. And once again, God chose to speak to me in a Nepalese church service. The church was very small and very basic. The attendees were all from this very remote and simplistic village. They lead hard lives up in those mountains. But they way they thanked God for what they have blew me away. They were crying out with so much joy to The Lord and we're clearly so grateful. I couldn't help but be convicted. I later explained it to Tiffany that in that moment that I realized that I was being so ungrateful for this experience. I have the opportunity to travel the world with four of my closest friends, but I am pissed most of the time because we are all women. How dumb is that?
I shared all of this with my team and made a commitment to them to be content with our team and our gender. I made a commitment to God to be content in whatever situation he puts me. I'm making the most out of this month that should be hard. I'm choosing to see the good in the difficult circumstances. It's definitely not easy, but I know I can do all this through him who gives me strength. And you can too.
