Saturday’s are busy at Casa de Gozo. The brightly painted home on the side of the road becomes alive with action as children of all ages flood in ready for a day of play. It is a safe haven for many, a place where the burden of home lives are left at the gate as the opportunity to simply be children is handed to them in the form of swings and soccer.
I was tired. I was restless. Earlier that week i had sat on the balcony of our home crying out to Papa, praying for restoration in my heart.
That restoration showed up in a yellow dress.
Lice covered her head, dirt covered her face. She showed obvious signs of a child with Down’s syndrome. She instantly stole my heart.
Initially, I let the discomfort of my flesh take over. I didn’t want to risk lice, I didn’t know if she’d be comfortable around me, I was too tired to play, I, I, I.
Then, these words flooded my heart straight from our Papa, instantly making the discomfort melt away and the overwhelming urge to scoop her up in my arms take over: see her as I see her, love her as I love her.
Hours later, she left in the same torn, yellow dress she arrived in. Lice still covered her head, her face was even more dirty than before. I didn’t know what she was going home to, but I know it was not the definition of good. I wanted so badly to not let go, to keep her in the forever protection of my arms, to make all of the hurt disappear. But I couldn’t, I had to let go, and it broke my heart to do so.
She left me the same, yet I left her completely changed. I left her with a heart that had been opened, broken, and brought to life. I left her having gained a new sister, one who nestled herself into my arms for a few hours and my heart forever.
I know I will probably say this about each month, but I cannot find words to describe my time in El Crucero, Nicaragua. There were some hard things, and lots of beautiful things. There was family (WildHands forever), there was mess and growth, and there was celebration and sunsets. My mess was and is being laid out in front of me and I am learning to constantly choose surrender, trusting in the love that will bring me to the depths of freedom. I am blown away by this life of chasing after the extraordinary with Jesus and some pretty cool people by my side!
After a week of debrief, we are in Africa! Due to political unrest in Ethiopia, my squad has been rerouted to Rwanda for the next two months. My new team and I have been here for a few days and my heart is filled to overflowing being back in its home. Thank you for all of your continued love and prayers, more blogs and life updates will be coming soon!
