Two weeks ago I found myself in the upstairs of Adventures in Missions’ (AIM) offices eating sour cream and onion chips out of the front pocket of my overalls, my party pocket, crying. I had just received an email declaring the details of my acceptance into Center for Global Action, (CGA) AIM’s discipleship school. This would mean moving to Gainesville, Georgia for shortish (5 month) training. As anxiety began to dwell, the tears came faster, so I took a walk. I landed in the thick of nature sitting on a fallen tree trunk. I felt heavy. Is this opportunity of the Lord? Is this His will? I hear Jesus’ voice on the wind, so as the trees began blowing back and forth in the wind I felt fully wrapped in His arms. I studied the leaves and the blue sky attempting to focus on the presence of God. I was asking Jesus what He wants in this next season. He spoke a season of intimacy, discipleship, and gentleness. A season of sweet celebrations, holy ground, and laying down pride. A season of obedience and of bold yes’. He has given me hard truth, not circumstances. When you offer your life as a loving sacrifice to Christ, it doesn’t matter where you are.
While having peace, I still feel heavy about accepting this opportunity in Georgia. Saying yes to CGA means I have to say no to things I do actually want. Saying no to some of the people I deeply love in order to say yes to God. Saying no to my favorite town to say yes to a place I’m not all that jazzed about moving to. The weight of the no’s is the pain of obedience. Sometimes God tells us to go against every desire of what we want for this time and asks us to do it anyway because He knows our whole time. We have to be willing to let go of what is in order to grasp the promise of what could be. We don’t know what hangs in the balance of our obedience.
Obedience is all over scripture, but I want to talk about what I believe to be the most moving act. God the Father painfully and selflessly sacrificing His son on the cross for the promise of His people. The promise of a relationship with him. Woof. What a guy. The very foundation of Christianity is quite the testimony of obedience.
I don’t know why Jesus is calling me into another season of no Dosie Dough bagels but I do know what He’s spoken pretty clearly about this next season and I don’t think He means stay in Lititz. So friends I’m heading out again. I’m learning that as I give my life as a loving sacrifice to Jesus, it doesn’t matter where I am.
