This past month I came very close to going home. I had some very real conversations with squad leaders and teammates convincing me to stay. In a weak moment of wanting to be anywhere but here, I found myself sitting and day dreaming what life would be like if I wasn’t. I would be in college at Kutztown University studying German and probably spending way too much time playing rugby. As I sat there I couldn’t stop thinking about rugby: how much I missed playing it and why I spent the last six years of my life competitively playing to not be doing anything with it now. Then I had a realization that put everything into perspective. I will never stop playing rugby because rugby is a game of life.
Let me explain. The traditional game of rugby is 15 vs 15. All fifteen have to work together in order to accomplish anything. When you’re holding the ball in rugby there are fifteen people that are going to do anything to knock you down. There’s also fourteen people standing with you…fighting with and for you. When the timing is right you can pass to any of these fourteen. Passing in rugby is also different, you have to pass backwards. Occasionally though, there isn’t someone on either side to pass to and you’re forced to hang on. In this case you have to run forward and attempt to break through the wall of fifteen. Sometimes you find the gap that leads you to a breakaway, but most times you get tackled. Now you have two options.
- Lay on the ground, become a part of it, and get stepped on.
or
- You can get up and keep pressing on.
My favorite feeling in rugby is when you break through the wall of the opposing fifteen. There’s a feeling you get when you pass it that is pretty indescribable. You are moving so quickly, looking forward, seeing the end that you were always able to see, but now it feels reachable. You’re running faster than ever, knowing no one can catch you. Then you touch the ball down knowing you were victorious.
So how does this relate to my right now?
This past month, I was holding the ball. It felt like more than fifteen people were against me though, it felt like God was against me. I got tackled by typhoid and I became a part of the ground. I let way too many people step on me and I got comfortable there. I was caught up focusing on all that was against me I couldn’t see all that was with me. I was so focused on being the hero and having the ball I didn’t see the loving Father and team of five standing behind me, waiting for me to pass the burden back to them. I froze in sight of the enemy and didn’t think to look to my left or my right.
For a while I lay on the ground, almost asking to get stepped on. Now, I’m up. He is steadying my feet and giving me the ball. The end is in sight. I can see the glory that is to come; I’m just searching for the gap that allows me to breakthrough to His victory and freedom. I’m getting there. The wall of fifteen is there, but so is my fourteen. Together, we are moving forward. Some stiff arms may need to be thrown, I may come out bruised, but His glory is in sight and we are moving forward. Fifteen as one.
