Naturally, I’m a selfish person. I want to be comfortable and I want to be in control. Those are two things that never mesh well when you’re living for Christ. And for some reason, the past few months I started asking God to make my life uncomfortable. It wasn’t until after I prayed it a few times that I actually thought about what that meant and thought about how scary of a prayer that is. I had no clue what would be in store for me after praying that prayer.
I am 24 years old living on my own and supporting myself with a job that I have a lot of security in. I have more than I need and I am very thankful for what God has provided for me. So, why would I want to be uncomfortable? Why would I want to give up the control that I have in my life right now? Because I know that I’m called to something more in life.
When I was 18, maybe like 8 or 9 months after I gave my life to God, I heard for the first time what my calling in life is. For those 8 or 9 months, I was so hungry for God, and I was eager to know what my purpose was. I was reading in Exodus 4 where Moses has an encounter with God through the burning bush. God is telling Moses that he will go to Egypt and set God’s people free. Moses has doubts because he is not a good speaker and God says in verse 12, “Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” Through that verse, I heard God say to me that He was going to teach me what to say and tell me where to go because I am going to be a missionary. I had no idea how I was going to get to that point or what I needed to do, but I just believed it and have held onto that calling.
I’ve gone on short term mission trips, and they’ve been incredible and I’m so thankful that God allowed me to be a part of those teams. I’m so blessed to be able to learn from each of those trips and a piece of my heart will forever be in those places. But, I knew I was meant for more than short term trips. Something about leaving the luxuries of the United States behind to take on the customs of a new country, witnessing to people who have never heard the name of Jesus before is something that just thinking about stirs something inside of me.
Matthew 13:45-46 says, “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”
This is a verse I’ve read so many times. But in the past month, every time I read it, I feel something tugging at me.. it’s weird and I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s a feeling I can’t ignore. The kingdom of heaven is worth more than anything we could ever own, or desire, or whatever.. it’s more than any of that. The merchant found a pearl worth more than all the others. He thought it was of more value than all the things he already owned, so he sold everything he had so he could have it. That verse tells us that’s exactly like what the kingdom of heaven is like… it’s worth more than any material object we could ever have. Our life’s calling as believers should be to follow the example of the merchant. The only thing that giving up our possessions costs us is our comfort. Especially living in the United States, we have so many things that make living life easier and more comfortable. I mean, you can start your car from an app on your phone so it’ll heat up by the time you get in the car.
So like I said earlier, I know that my life’s calling is to be a missionary and I have held onto that promise for years. So, what exactly does that mean? What am I getting myself into? To be a missionary means having to give up the luxuries of American life to adopt a new lifestyle, one that’s not so luxurious or glamorous in order to spread the Gospel of Jesus to those who have not heard. I know that means I’ll be living in a place that most likely doesn’t have air conditioner. Or hot water. And bugs all over the place (which I absolutely hate). It’s going to be hard, I’m not doubting that at all. I think it’s going to be one of the hardest things I’ll ever do. But that’s how I know that’s something God wants me to do with my life; because it’s something that I can’t do on my own. I’m going to have to rely on Him.
So remember that security I said that I had earlier? And how I am living a very comfortable life? And how my prayer was to be uncomfortable? Well, I’m about to get REAL uncomfortable. You see, a lot of people don’t find a career at 23 years old. A lot of people don’t have a job that you can fully support yourself at 23 years old. I worked so hard to become a nurse. The last 5 years of my life were spent reaching my goal of graduating college and becoming a Registered Nurse, and here I am having reached that goal, and now God is wanting to see if I really want to follow Him and leave my comfortable life for a life of unpredictability, discomfort, and a completely different lifestyle.
I’ve been given the opportunity to go on the World Race in September 2015. The World Race is a mission trip that goes to 11 countries in 11 months. I’ll be going to India, Nepal, Thailand, Indonesia, Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia, Burma, Japan, Mongolia, and China. In these countries I’ll have the opportunity to do serve the least of these. I’ll be given the chance to work with orphans, sex trafficking victims, and bring the Gospel to countries that are primarily Muslim. This is an experience of a lifetime, and I know that God is pushing me to do this. I’m going to be VERY uncomfortable. But that was my prayer! I don’t know what’s going to come of it, but I do know that there’s people in that part of the world that don’t know Jesus. So if I can sacrifice my comfort for just 1 person to come to know Jesus, it will all be worth it.
This trip is going to cost about $16,000, but I know that God will provide. I’m so humbled and excited that I’ve been chosen to participate in such an incredible opportunity. Please pray with me as I begin planning, fundraising, and buying equipment. Also pray for the countries that I’ll be visiting and for the team that I’ll be going with. I’ll be keeping ya’ll updated on how everything is going!
